Reflections on 40 years of Service as a Submissive Man

Ever imagined what it would be like to be a submissive man without the internet? Read this guest blog by JB on 40 years of service and his top tips for healthy D/S relationships.

40 years of Serving, what have I learnt and what’s changed?

Like many I am an outwardly “normal” man who has a deep set need to serve and be at the behest of caring Mistress.

Early Days and Triggers

Around 1970/71 aged 16, one of the guys at school got hold of an “underground magazine”, from his older brother, these were written and produced by an individual, a few copies made and then circulated to a small group. This particular one contained 3 stories, all illustrated and lots of detail.

The first concerned a girl’s relationship with a family pet, the second and this is where it starts, was about two Mistresses and a latex slave who was dressed in multiple layers so that the gap between suits could be inflated turning him into a giant ball that could be bounced round the room. The third was a very detailed water sports story, a chained slave and a Mistress whose bladder would “soon be empty.”

First Steps to Service

By 1980 I was working in London and keen to start to explore this side of my life, and with no internet or mobile phones, the only real options were contact magazines and telephone box roulette where you would see small cards promoting all sorts of possible delights, these very rarely lived up to the image.

London Calling: A look at vintage 'tart cards' used by English prostitutes  | Dangerous Minds

The contact magazines worked by sending off a stamped address envelope to a PO Box and hopefully a few days later you would get back a letter, usually with a few pictures and a land line number to call and off you go.

Around the same time Forum magazine, The Journal of Human Relations was in circulation and this carried some personal advertisements and was in my view the most reliable source for meeting a Mistress.

The Game starts to Change

By the early 90’s things started to change, the arrival of the internet and websites made the search for a suitable Mistress much easier, and around the same time another publication came out, DDI or Domination Directory International.

This featured full colour full page advertisements for Mistresses and contact details, things were looking up for slaves and subs. The era of information and a truly informed choice had arrived.

What are the Big Changes?

Apart from the communication and contact that I have talked about, the biggest change within the industry must be the huge increase in equipment and technology that now exists in the scene. Back in the early days it was bondage, some impact play and attire.

In 2022, the range of equipment to offer a huge variety of experiences would be unimaginable to a Mistress from the day when I started.

My Road Map with Mistresses and Service

I have seen many Mistresses over my 40 years, both in this country and around the world. My preference has always been to have a long-term relationship with a Mistress where we can grow our experiences together and the sessions develop a natural flow.

I have managed this with 4 Mistresses, 2 now retired and two still very active on the scene, I won’t name 3 but I am currently privileged to serve Mistress Kaz, she was very kind and caring when I first met her, in 2017. I had not been part of the scene for a number of years following a serious illness, but she encouraged me and supported me in my journey back and I will be forever grateful.

Mistress Kaz

I have gained much from other Mistresses, some still very active on the scene today. I can’t name you all, but I do thank you most sincerely for everything that you have given and all that I have learned and gained from you.

Top Tips to Service – What I have Learnt?

My top tips for you are….

Be honest about your experience and what you enjoy, your Mistress is not psychic, she can build a session around your needs but only if you communicate them. 

If you are taking any medication and use poppers tell your Mistress. I have spoken to many subs who have no idea that the most dangerous effect of the combination of Viagra and poppers is a serious drop in blood pressure that can be fatal.

Sometimes even for experienced subs and Mistresses the session does not work. Talk about it afterwards, it might be expectations or just a lack of chemistry but it happens and it may be best for both sides to move on.

It’s not wrong to enjoy your kink – it’s actually very healthy. It allows you to relax and enjoy experiences that are crucial to your own mental health, embracing kink has made me a much better person.

If you want to follow me on Twitter @JCFW40 will get you there.

Additionally, follow the stunning beauty – Mistress Kaz B here.

Mistress Kaz

JB Jan 2022

Thank you JB for sharing your journey as a submissive man in service – great insights in to the past. My kinkster readers – can anyone else relate to this journey?! Let’s support each other! So please feel free to SHARE this guest blog with others. Feel free to hit me up on Twitter @podofeleus and Instagram @Podopheleus, or send a message via my contact page.

Much Kink Love,


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