INTERVIEW with Madam Amour – How to balance your own spirituality with a BDSM lifestyle!?
Hello, BDSM-Friendly Households!
As many of you are aware, I am a married man, I have 2 little children and at times I find great difficulty with – balancing family life, and staying spiritually connected with a BDSM Lifestyle. So, when discussing interview subject matters with Madam Amour and She mentioned that She’d like to talk about – ‘How to balance Her own spirituality with Her BDSM lifestyle’, well, I was gratified! Before we get started please allow me to introduce you to the wonderful – Madam Amour!
Introducing Madam Amour
Well for those who don’t me I am Madam Amour, a Professional Dominatrix living and working in London. I began my professional journey in August of 2019 and have absolutely loved my journey so far. My personal passions are in corporal punishment and discipline. I’ve recently been expanding my knowledge in bondage, electrics, as well as CBT and I am looking forward to adding medical play to my ongoing list of interests.
1. Tell us a little bit about your vanilla life.
In my vanilla life I am a single mum of three, 2 teens and our newest addition is just 9 months old. Raising young ones is a full on job as any parent would know but it has not held me back from pursuing ventures or a professional career. I have up until recently worked a 9-5 in logistics and managed to keep up with furthering my education.
Finding a balance is not easy but it is extremely important for us Mums and Dads not to lose the parts of us that make us whole, complete and satisfied.
2. What made you want to become a professional Dominatrix? Furthermore, tell us your story, how did you get into the BDSM lifestyle?
I’d say I’ve always had a dominant personality which has occasionally got me in to trouble. School, work, relationships may have suffered as a result of me not channelling that energy in the right way. I often found myself taking control of most situations I found myself in and this has led to the odd comment or suggestion I was or should have been a dominatrix.
So, a quick google search later I came across a Black Pro Domme and instantly thought, that’s me! I reached out to her and she offered me a training session. I was quite nervous to attend initially as reality does not always live up to the fantasy, but I was pleasantly surprised.
It gave me a surge of energy I was missing and a high that lasted longer than any high I’d ever had before. I left the dungeon that day thinking… ‘I’ll never look back’ and I haven’t since.
3. How do you balance your BDSM lifestyle with being a single mother and working full time?
It’s been hard. People don’t see the struggle to balance, sessions, filming and admin with sterilising bottles, sleepless nights and the unpredictable challenges that come with a young family. That’s all without the mention of deadlines and hours spent catching up with my corporate responsibilities.
Every Sunday I set out my goals and targets for the week ahead, this includes everything from designated times to return emails, setting up planned daily posts for twitter in drafts, setting a never ending lists of alarms and reminders on my laptop and phone, arranging childcare for booked sessions, I even cook and freeze most of our meals on the weekend too as who has time to cook??. Even the baby’s nap time is filled with tasks to keep things ticking over.
Most days I’m tired and most days I have very little time to myself but I’m fulfilled.
4. Do your children know about your BDSM lifestyle? If yes, how do they feel about it?
Yes, they do.
Now I know this may be controversial or not realistic for many, but before I made the decision to go pro it was them I consulted first. What they think of me is extremely important to me with us being as close as we are. I’ve done my best to raise my children to be open minded, respectful of other people’s differences and personal choices.
Most teenagers are embarrassed of their parents, right? Well, we can all imagine how embarrassing it would be for them if their peers were to stumble across some of my images or films. So I figured the best way to combat that would be to keep them ahead of the game. Preparation is everything!
I showed them soft clips of women in the industry and asked them how they’d feel about me doing it.
They of course were quite shocked at what I was suggesting but after a few reassuring conversations around what my personal limits were they were comfortable. I too have strict rules around nudity and sexual activity and I love that for them. I’m not the dictator by a long stretch, after all I’m raising adults not suppressing children into anything that is uncomfortable or disturbing.
All teens grow up eventually and on their personal journeys they will in their own time explore their own kinks/sexuality. I feel that them knowing has only brought us closer together, we talk freely, they share more and they know nothing they could ever tell me or ask will bring judgement or shame. For us, it works but we revisit it often as I know things can always change as they grow and develop their own moral conscience.
5. You’ve got so much on your plate, do you find it overwhelming at times? If yes, how do you manage to relieve stress when you’re feeling overwhelmed?
YES! It can be, especially when I’m not feeling my best. I find the more organised I am, the less stressed or overwhelmed I feel. Not everything goes to plan admittedly. One child gets sick, the others follow suit and all those plans go out the window. You prioritise and do your best.
To relieve that pressure I have my set days to focus on me. Meditation, connecting with my spirituality, furthering my education, reading or spending time in nature all help me to relax but believe it or not sessions, especially those that involve impact play, are where I feel the most stress relief.
Hearing the screams of those you are inflicting pain on is far more relaxing than the screams of teens fighting over the remote or the little lungs of a teething baby!
6. Have you ever considered quitting your vanilla job and fully focusing on prodomming?
I am currently on Maternity leave and have made the decision to hand in my notice. It’s the only way I will reach my full potential and be able to educate myself in the areas of kink I’m yet to explore. So, love me or hate me you will progressively be seeing more of me! I’m actively working on filming, networking and who knows, maybe I’ll be arranging a few events of my own in the not too distant future.
7. Being a parent can be tough. Being a single parent, that’s a whole different challenge. Do you feel that being a single parent, the challenges you have faced have made you a certain type of Domme?
Usually a family dynamic would have two parents. Each often takes a particular role naturally. Good cop bad cop or the fun one and the disciplinarian. I’ve had to be both for all 3 pretty much for the last 17 years. It definitely has helped shape the Domme I am today.
I’m a naturally nurturing person and find it’s a skill that is needed when parenting. However, I would not consider myself to be soft. Parenting too needs a balance of soft and hard, nurturing but with discipline. Without rules and order my children would run a mock but by combining rules, discipline and boundaries with nurturing, love and rewards – I’ve been able to build a strong bond with my children.
I find it no different to keeping subs and slaves in check. I favour lasting relationships over fleeting experiences and feel the best way to attract these is with my balanced approach.
8. Lastly, tell us a little bit about your goals and passions.
Well, as I mentioned before, I am passionate about furthering my skills and education. I am a qualified fashion designer and make up artist. I am currently studying photography, coding and hoping to return to University to expand my pattern cutting to Latex.
The ultimate goal is to have a one stop shop so to speak for aspiring and existing Dommes. To own a space where I can both play with my pets as well as train newcomers is a dream but to have a place where anyone can be styled, dressed, trained, photographed and even have your website created by me is THE dream.
There we have it, BDSM-Friendly Households!
I hope you enjoyed reading this inspiring interview as much as I did! A Big, Big Thank-You to the beautiful, Impressive, warmhearted – Madam Amour for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk to me.
Stay tuned to Madam Amour’s Instagram and Twitter for the latest kinky updates 😈
To book a session with Madam Amour please email enquiries to: callmeamourx@gmail.com
Website: www.madamamour.com/
Kinksters! Let’s support each other – so please SHARE this interview with other like-minded/open-minded individuals. Also, feel free to hit me up on Twitter @podofeleus and Instagram @Podopheleus.
Much Kink Love,
Podopheleus 🖤
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