How to find a Domme? Wassup Kinksters, so you’ve been thinking about visiting a Dominatrix, huh? However, you are a little hesitant because you don’t know what to expect.
The truth of the matter is YOU are SO friggin’ nervous. I’ve been there, man. I remember those moments like they were yesterday. The good news is, I’m here to offer you help bro!
11 Top Tips to finding a Dominatrix
1) I want to visit a Domme. Am I normal?
I’d asked myself that same question a bazillion times. Then I thought to myself what does normal even mean⁉️ I later discovered that a lot of men fantasize about being dominated and it is more common than you might think. So, you’re as normal as anyone else.
Why do YOU want to find a Domme?
Does the thought of visiting a Dominatrix excite you? Are you looking for a long term Dominatrix/Submissive (D/S) relationship or do you want it to be that one-off experience because it is that something that you wanted to get out of your system.
Knowing your ‘WHY’ you want to find a Domme is important. It can help you put things into perspective. As an exemplification, once I decided that I really did want to visit a Domme, I didn’t want it to be a one-off experience. I wanted to have a good, healthy, long-term relationship with my Domme. If you are in it for the long haul, please be aware that visiting a Professional Domme is generally a pretty pricey service.
2) How to find a Domme – what are you into?
What are your fetishes? What are your kinks? There are so many out there. Let’s take a look at some of the most notable fetishes and kinks:
- foot fetish
- sweaty feet
- tease and denial
- corporeal punishment
- sensory play
You will find a list of services on each Dommes’ website. It can be stated that a significant number of Dommes do offer most of the above mentioned services. However, there are a handful of Dommes that don’t offer watersports or sweaty feet sessions. If you are interested in a very specific service, there is no harm in asking a question. Just make sure you are polite about it. Bear it in mind this will be left at the discretion of the Domme.
It’s also worthwhile thinking about what type of submissive you might be? You may not know the answer to this yet as you’re yet to explore your true kinky self, perhaps this submissive blog might help give you some ideas.
3) How do you actually find a Domme though?
How to find a Domme – Online searching
Finding the ideal Domme requires patience and hours of Googling. When I began searching online for a Domme, I remember searching for:
‘Foot Fetish Dominatrix London’
A list of Dominatrix sites came up on my Google search. I clicked on the website links and then read each website thoroughly. I was searching for 3 things.
- a long-term D/S relationship
- sweaty feet sessions
- foot gagging
If you search ‘Dommes sweaty feet sessions’ Mistress Adreena ranks number one. Being specific about what you’re seeking is an important factor that will help to narrow your search.
Erm… What is FetLife?
In essence, It’s a Social Network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky Community. I call it the Facebook for kinksters. It even has its own app. Cool, right? Once you have created your own profile, you are permitted to post videos, photos, and write stories.
Furthermore, you can connect with like-minded kinky individuals. It appears that you can approach female Dominants on FetLife. However, I’m not an experienced FetLife user. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to guide you through it.
So, I recently booked a session with a Domme I met on Twitter, although it was not planned, but, fate brought us together. I made the first move by following her and simply engaging in conversation with her. At a later date she followed me back. I later learned that she was offering Covid-19 Advance Booking Special Offers. So I sent her an email and I paid a deposit for two sessions.
Meeting Dommes on Social media can be tricky.
I would personally recommend using social media as a tool to understand Dommes and the kink community. The best way to do this is by supporting Dommes by following their accounts, liking, retweeting/ resharing posts or stories, and most importantly – politely and respectfully engaging in conversations. However, I would not advise sending a DM (direct message) to a Domme regarding booking a session. That would be the wrong way to go about this.
4) How to contact a Domme?
In most cases, the best way to contact a Domme regarding booking a session is by sending an email or filling out the submissive submit form, which can be found on the Dommes’ website.
To learn more about how to fill out a submissive submit form, please click below….
5) How to find a Domme and avoid being scammed
Let’s look at the types of Dommes available
- Pro Dommes. Also known as Professional Dominatrix.
A Pro Domme is a sex worker, a female dominant who is paid to engage in S&M / BDSM activities. Excluding sexual intercourse.
- Online Dommes / Financial Dommes also known as findom.
In minimal detail, financial domination is an online communication between a female financial dominant and a male financial slave. It is a genuine fetish lifestyle where the male submissive also known as paypigs, money slaves will be happy to give gifts and money to the Financial Domme.
- Fake Dommes
Strangely enough, from the moment I created my Podopheleus IG and Twitter accounts, I received a considerable amount of messages from Dommes asking if I am a submissive slave. However, it is important to spot a fake account and avoid being scammed by a fake domme.
How to spot a fake Domme?
- First of all, a Domme will not reach out to a submissive first.
- No website. Often, this rings alarm bells.
- No posts, yet she has 58 followers and is following 3,028 accounts. That alone seems suspicious.
Use common sense and go with your gut feeling if you feel that something is not quite right… maybe you’re right.
6) Finding a Domme – what do the venues look like?
I have so far visited 4 Dommes, so here’s a little bit about my experiences in London Dominatrix studios.
Domme 1 – (foot fetish session)
It went down in a modern apartment. There was no BDSM furniture or sex toys. It was just like being at a friend’s apartment.
Domme 2 – (foot fetish session)
It had taken place in a house. Yet again, there was no BDSM furniture or sex toys. It was just like being at a friend’s house.
Domme 3 – Mistress Adreena
I visit Mistress Adreena on a regular basis. Mistress Adreena is the owner of Inanna Studios. I have written an entire blog reviewing Inanna Studios. Please click on the link below to read ‘What is a Playspace? / Inanna Studio Review’
Domme 4 – Mistress Sakura (light BDSM, anal play)
The session with Mistress Sakura took place at The Peacock Parlour which is an exceptional, sensuous dungeon. They have a selection custom and Fetters BDSM equipment, in addition to a diverse range of premium quality toys available.
Utmost importance is that you are on time to sessions. You are well mannered and never touch a Domme unless given express consent. Read What not to say to a Dominatrix for more top tips.
7) How to find a Domme? Is it legal? Will I get sex?
It is totally legal to pay for the services of a Dominatrix.
Dommes do not offer Sexual Services, comprising blow jobs or sexual intercourse.
8) How much does it cost to see a Domme?
On average, London Dommes are charging £150 – £250 an hour.
9) What can I expect from my first session, should I be scared?
What can you expect from your first session?
I guess that depends entirely on your pre-session conversations. Have you discussed your interests? Boundaries? Your limits and Safewords? And given informed consent? If yes, then chillax! It will be a fulfilling kink experience.
Should I be scared?
As already mentioned, I have so far visited 4 Dommes and they have been kind to me and very accommodating. So you have nothing to be afraid of.
10) Finding a Domme – what will I get out of it?
You can learn a lot about yourself. Let me put it this way, this blog you’re reading right now, the content on my website, my book – Triple-Formed. A lot of what I am talking about I have learned from my sessions.
11) Dominatrix Myth busting
Dommes are only interested in the money – THIS is a myth.
Firstly, the substantial majority of Dommes are extremely selective with who they decide to session with.
Secondly, some Dommes even turn away submissives.
Thirdly, Dommes are very passionate about their work and craft.
There we have it guys. I hope I have answered all your questions about how to find a Domme. Do you have any other questions??? I would love to hear from you if you do. Feel free to hit me up on Twitter and Instagram, or via the site.
Much Kink Love