How to know if you’re with a “Real Domme” or a “Fake Domme”?

“Real Domme” or “Fake Domme” By Zealousideal-BV

Hello Everyone. Thanks to Podopheleus, I am again back to share my insights and thoughts with you all. This time it is about something which we as subs always ask, Is the Domme Real or Fake?

And in case you missed it, here’s my interview with Podopheleus: 

We as submissive ourselves sometimes forget to value our own position of giving up power to someone else, whom we can “Trust”. The Power Exchange is special, valuable and personal to oneself. We have to be protective about ourselves, then only could we be more sensible when talking to a right person about our fetishes and kinks.

If we exchange power in wrong hands, consequences are severe and mentally draining. People who reflect themselves as submissive, we all have come across various accounts on Fetlife, Instagram, Twitter or even Facebook for the matter, where we are approached by “Hello Slave, looking for a Mistress to ruin you”, or fake accounts made by using real Domintrix’s images.

So, for everyone’s simplicity and care, I will break this article into three paragraphs which will reflect my experience of finding if a person is a “Real Domme” or “Fake Domme”.

Kinks You and Other Person Likes

The concept of BDSM or Female Domination comes from the sheer understanding of what you like, as a kink or fetish to engage with. This roots within you on multiple levels. So to start with, every Domme is present online, on almost all social media platforms.

Search within your fetish interests, who aligns with your style of play, your perspective and treatment of the subjects during the play setting. Every Pro Domme has a list of fetishes and to your surprise, even if they have various fetishes to play (just like you) they have some special ones. So, we now know about fetishes being aligned – but how to find them? We will see in our next segment

Pro Dommes Website and Presence on Social Media

This is one of the crucial aspects of being in a Professional BDSM Setting. Every Domme would have an official website to their name, and a strong social media presence. Now, you may ask, can these things be faked easily? Well, yes absolutely, but there is a way to tell. “Consistency”.

Every Pro Domme would have their presence on social media, with the exact same user name, profile pic, bio (exception of IG, So might differ a bit) and same Website linked to it. That is an absolute from their end. What we have to be aware of is, if we like someone’s presence on one platform, look for the same username on other platforms. (Note: Due to unreasonable banning, or rules, you might not find the right user name, so do try to find that on the social media platform where you first found them. Please do not DM, at any instance). Be humble and scroll around posts to see if they have posted about it.

Pro Dommes have a seperate site, well managed with all the details concerning to you. About them, their Likes, Dislikes, Limits, how to book, clip store links, blogs and testimonials, with some to many also highlighting the rates of the session. Once this is understood. We move to a crucial aspect of again, we can be phished here, what is the final round of clearance.

Money and Respect

In my humble experience of 4 years now, not a single Domme has ever asked me to give her money, or used humiliating slurs with a first message, get go. Dommes, Real Dommes or Pro Dommes in general are very busy in daily life. With Sessions, normal life, admin work and social media engagement etc. Sparing them much to no time to come and talk to you from there end first with “Hello Slave”.

They are a long term practitioner in BDSM and of their skills. And, in my opinion, one of the sweetest and heart warming humans I have ever met. Because, they practice, SSC, RACK even during their real life and conversation. They respect boundaries, have an aura of class around them.

You would never see a Gucci Bag Store person running behind you “You wanna buy a bag, buy here” – those kinds of people are the ones who just want your desperate attention and phish you. A nice Louis Vuitton Shower looks class apart with its own aesthetics, class, aura, presence, setup and no one rushing to you to sell. As their products are marketable in themselves.

Same goes with a Real Domme or Pro Domme, they would never come to you, (As the Ratio is already in their favor, make a guess, for 1 Domme, how many submissives are ready to submit?) Because they are luxury. And, they understand this power really well, and appreciate it to the finest core of elements in their heart.

Been very open minded while looking for a Domme in a virtual limits and keep your senses strong. Never interact with an account which comes to you – they are ALL phishing accounts – like the fraud mails you get in your spam folder.

Be vigilant of their presence, interact respectfully with their social media, get to know them more. And, if you feel they are the one. Go to their “Website” And fill the booking details there. Every interaction should begin from their Booking Form for any session related query and they will respond back to your form details with their email ID. Which would be a reflection of their social media username, name they use in BDSM Setup and on Website.

A Consistency, as we understand.

All and all, be respectful, Dommes are humans, and one of the most caring ones. Engaging with them is like engaging with any other normal person, as they are normal people too. It is simple, you give respect, you get respect.


You can follow me at my Twitter account: @ZealousidealB

There we have it, Kinksters – how to spot a Real Domme! 

I hope you enjoyed reading this guest blog on how to find a real domme. A massive shout-out to Zealousideal-BV!

Have you ever been wondered about the authenticity of a dominatrix that you have been approached by? Ever been caught out or scammed?! There are sooooooooo many amazing professional dommes out there whom are wonderful human beings – engage with these mistresses! Let’s support each other, Kinksters! So please feel free to SHARE this guest blog with others. Feel free to hit me up on Twitter @podofeleus and Instagram @Podopheleus, or my contact page.

Much Kink Love,


P.S. if you’re interested to hear more from subs, dommes and artists within the BDSM and Kink Community – check out the ‘Interview’ section on my site!

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