Hello again, Kinky Folks!
I recently had a good ol’ chat with the incredibly beautiful International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix, and we delved into topics like literature and broadened perspectives on sexuality. Intriguing, isn’t it? Alrighty, before we delve into the details, let me introduce you to Adelaide Asterix.
Introducing International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix
International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix – these are the words I have found to describe the core of who I am and what I bring to the world. I’m a companion and muse, a classically trained Domina, an artist, and a lover. I am a transgender woman who delights in the alchemy of beauty and power, the amazing places these things can transport us to.
I would say my overall aim is to hold a space of possibility. Whatever I put my mind, body and energy into, I want it to be able to reach the highest levels of experience. My journey has spanned several countries, from origins in Sydney, to London, Berlin and increasingly other parts of Europe. I love to travel, for the sake of new experiences and expanding horizons — both my own and those of other people. I love this lifestyle, in spite of its complicated demands. I wouldn’t have it any other way. – International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix
1. Can you share a bit about your journey and how you entered the world of professional domination?
International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix; I consider myself a natural Domme and top. I started shaping this professionally when a friend suggested I interview for a dungeon in 2017, in Sydney. It was called Temple 22. I met a lot of fabulous Mistresses there and it was something of a revelation for me. I quickly realised I had found a home in BDSM and that it would become a cornerstone of how I understood the world from then. I was lucky to receive training from some of the best people in the industry, and a few years later I went independent and moved to London.
2. How do you approach creating a safe and consensual environment for your clients?
Communication is so important. I have developed a highly nuanced toolkit for engaging people at all levels of experience in a real way. It’s about meeting the individual where they’re at. Some people need a gentle coaxing, whereas others already know exactly what they need, still others are simply ready to subsume themselves totally into my personal aura and desires.
I don’t believe every detail has to be picked over before a session. I work quite intuitively and I tend not to follow a script when I play. I find it a better strategy to begin with some core interests and limits and then let the dynamic develop from there. This is also a way of allowing both me and the person I’m meeting to take part in an active and subtle dialogue about consent and safety, which can change from moment to moment.
I like the emphasis on personal responsibility that has emerged recently in BDSM conversations for this reason. – International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix
3. I know you have an interest in literature from the list of suggested reading on your Instagram page. How do you believe literature can impact or shape cultural attitudes of fetishes?
International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix; The root of ‘sadomasochism’ is literature. The word comes from famous authors associated with the tendencies of sadism (Marquis de Sade) and masochism (Leopold von Sacher-Masoch). I think writing plays a big role in creating, perpetuating and making containers for these sorts of practices to come into culture or the collective imagination.
You could look at this from the point of view of narrative — every ‘scene’ is based on a story principle, an erotic fantasy that has a point of excitement. For example, ‘a child is being beaten’ is a classic psychoanalytic scene. You could consider 50 Shades of Grey, or online fanfiction and story-sharing communities, to see how writing continues to express and influence sexual fantasies.
Personally I like reading, and a narrative point of view has allowed me to understand a lot of fetishes and kinky activities. Stories, including the ones that people write to me (I’ve occasionally been commissioned to write them as well), have been a way for me to see how seemingly disparate things are connected in a fetishy way. So the connection between a pencil skirt and spanking might seem random to someone unfamiliar with these things, but through narrative tropes I personally see a strong affinity between these things.
4. From your perspective, how has the depiction of fetishistic themes changed over time? How has the internet affected the representation of fetish and the kinds of stories that are now able to be told?
When people like de Sade and Sacher-Masoch were writing, it was in a print culture that was much more limited and elitist than it is now. Censorship was a lot more tight, and electronic media also didn’t exist. These were books in a European context that affected a culture that was then exported globally via colonialism. The internet accelerated something that was already happening as books got cheaper, people got more literate and the world got more connected: it made fetish stories a lot more accessible and diverse.
Last year I went to the Hentai shorts at the Berlin Porn Film Festival and it made me see how big the Japanese influence is on what’s considered hot now. It’s so cool that there is more international exchange and online communities are refining and connecting over what they find erotic.
Online communities can also get really specific and connect across what were previously social taboos. You see this with trans attraction – I actually think the rise of OnlyFans and trans porn on what is now X has been enormous for the cultural acceptance of this. There have always been big porn sites dedicated to trans content, but the difference now is that trans-attracted people are seeing the numbers in followers and likes for trans content and understanding just how not-alone they are. – International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix
5. How is it being a trans woman in professional sex work? What are some challenges you’ve faced in both your personal and professional life?
International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix; I like to think I carry the burdens that I’m levelled with pretty lightly. I definitely have a lot of privileges that make that possible and easier than it is for a lot of other trans women in this industry. At the same time I have an awareness of stigma, and difficult things I have to negotiate in a pretty specific way.
Online and financial discrimination, crossing borders and general safety are things at the top of my mind. There are also double standards of beauty and behaviours I think I’m held to that cis women just don’t have to contend with, and that can be frustrating.
But things are going pretty well! To me it’s important to be as bold and authentic as I can be. Surrounding myself with great people is also key. All my friends, colleagues, partners and often even clients are people who are advanced enough to both understand me and the world we live in. If they weren’t, they just wouldn’t get access to me.
6. What could be the rationale behind men being attracted solely to women while also having an attraction to the phallus? Additionally, what advice would you offer to men facing confusion about their sexuality?
Let’s face it, men love a phallus, no matter who it belongs to! They also love femininity: breasts, softness, long hair, nails… It makes total sense to me that straight men are into trans women, because trans women are a kind of woman. I’m not of the opinion that sexuality is a ‘total spectrum’ and everyone is ‘secretly’ bi or pan. But I do think it’s possible for two straight men to have the same core attractions, and for one to have a more expanded sexuality than the other.
That’s a term I use for most of men who are into me, and in fact for kinky men as well, they’re people with an expanded sexuality. A lot of the time how expanded you allow your sexuality to be is related to how comfortable you feel in yourself.
I find the people who are most self-stable in their identity are the ones who feel confident enough to explore trans attraction, submission and other things outside of ‘normal’ straight guy behaviour. There is a genuinely queer world of sexuality where bodies are bodies and identifications, shapes and roles are able to change a lot, and sometimes I get to see people who inhabit that world. But my clientele and lovers are, by and large, straight, cis men.
My advice for men confused about their sexuality is to relax! I think the parameters for men to be able to express themselves are so narrow, in and out of the bedroom. Sex should be a space of possibility and exploration—not something that has the ability to take away from what you think you know about yourself, but to deepen it. If you trust yourself, I promise you can handle whatever it is you uncover. – International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix
7. How has being a trans woman influenced your path as a Dominatrix?
International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix; It’s so hard to navigate all the different expectations that are put on you both as a Domme and a trans woman, especially when you are first finding your way. There is a tension between the (phallic) power that is expected of a Domina and the ultrafemininity that is expected of trans women. There’s also a tension between the fantasies of sometimes quite ignorant clients and the complex reality of trans embodiment.
To be a trans Domme, it’s like a niche within a niche, an alternative to the alternative. Meanwhile a lot of clients are stuck on the fact that trans women exist, period, and can only conceive of us in situations that are all about our bodies rather than our skills and personalities.
It took me a little while to figure out how to navigate all these competing demands, and get to a place where I knew both what I wanted from this path as well what made sense for the industry. I know where my domination fits into my personality as well as where my more sensual side comes in. Wielding my body and sexuality in amongst my other skills is probably something I have to do more than cis Dommes, but I also know how rare and valuable that is.
I know how many people are into trans women and how to bring satisfying nuance to that. I also think the conversation is changing: more people are educated on both trans stuff and BDSM, and they’re more open to complexity because they feel that within themselves. For me it feels like I’m sitting at the forefront of that change, and that’s exciting to me. I’m always learning and growing.
8. Are there aspects of your identity or experiences that you incorporate into your sessions?
Being trans is not so much an identity for me, but a lived reality. It’s not about internal feelings as much as it is about a commitment. I’ve done a lot of internal and external work on myself and I really know who I am in a way that a lot of people don’t always get to. It’s this that allows me to be centred in my sessions and guide people who are discovering who they are and what they’re into. More specifically,
I know a lot about the complexities and technology of gender that’s also been informed by my time in trans communities. This is something I love using in relation to my crossdressing, sissy and trans subs. It’s knowledge that is applicable to play but also something that allows me to connect in a unique way with people who reach out to me that are exploring or affirming their gender. – International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix
9. Can you discuss any advocacy or community involvement you’re passionate about?
International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix; I’m ardently for decriminalisation in all jurisdictions, in Australia, the UK, and Germany. I think sex work is a normal part of life in this society and penalising workers or clients is at best inconvenient and at worst horribly life-threatening. There’s so much that comes from this industry culturally as well as in the sense of wellbeing and that should be honoured, not shunned.
I would also like the full integration of trans women into gendered sex work spaces (like online directories). Most of my clients book other, cis, sex workers and that should be reflected in the listings, not just all the trans girls put in one mislabelled corner. Tryst is a website that probably does trans inclusion the best in its listings: trans women are included in searches for women providers, but we also have the option of only appearing when someone selects ‘trans escorts’ specifically. Why is this important? It’s about equality. In many parts of the industry there’s one standard set for cis girls and another for trans girls, even though we share a lot of the same clients.
10. What hobbies or interests do you pursue outside of your professional life?
I’ve done yoga since I was a teen and I love what it does for my mind and body. I really love novels and poetry as well as watching AFL when the season is on (a pandemic interest I certainly never saw coming). I love gorgeous food, watching old movies and reality TV. One of my clients and I bonded last year about both having seen an episode of Ladies of London that included a tragic horse riding accident. It was a special moment. – International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix
There we have it, Kinky Folks!
A massive Thank-You to the International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix for answering my questions.
I hope you enjoyed reading this interview with the amazing International Trans Fetish Goddess Adelaide Asterix. Check out all of Adelaide Asterix links here, Please share this interview with other like-minded individuals.
Much Kink Love,