Hello, impact players!
Are you interested in impact play? Why do people like impact play? What kind of people enjoy impact play? Is it just for pain sluts? Geez! So many questions. Luckily for you, I now have some answers. Over a cup of coffee recently, I talked about this with the absolutely breathtaking, impact specialist – Jane Grey. However, before we get started, I asked Jane Grey to write a little introduction about herself.
A very warm hello to all the Podopheleus readers and thank you for taking the time to talk to me Pod.
I’m Jane Grey. Mistress. Modern mythtress. A strong, tall, powerful, wicked but warm Dominatrix originally from Scotland, I have been living in London for the past five years where I am an active member of the wonderful London kink scene.
In 2020 I turned my passion into a lifestyle. Becoming a professional FemDom felt like a natural progression and I’m so glad I made the decision.
I enjoy unleashing my sadistic streak whilst displaying warmth and affection in equal measure, if you deserve it of course.
1. For the uninitiated what is impact play and where did it come from?
Impact play is the sadomasochistic practice where the (sadistic) Top uses an instrument with which to repeatedly strike the body, often the buttocks and thighs, of a (masochistic) bottom for pain and pleasure as both punishment and reward between consenting adults in a BDSM scenario. The instruments in question can range from a bare hand to just about anything you can think of and the recipient’s body is often restrained in some manner: the key is to strike and restrain safely, accurately and using control. It’s been around for centuries, as religious flagellation, punishment, a form of torture, and slightly more openly since Victorian times as a source of pleasure.
For a detailed and in depth look at the cultural history of impact play and sadomasochism, I’d highly recommend Peter Tupper’s book A Lover’s Pinch, who I understand you have already interviewed! A fantastic read. Really excellent.
2. Can you explain the different types of impact play, which one is your personal favourite and why?
First off, it’s really important to state that as with all play, start slow and build it up, and there needs to be constant communication (verbal or non verbal) between the participants. I’d also recommend a traffic lights system: Green-go, amber-reaching limit, red- stop immediately. I also implement an out-of-ten system and offer a blow and ask the recipient to tell me how painful that was out of ten as a benchmark.
Do not hit someone repeatedly suddenly without warning or warm up. This is bad practice even the most hardcore masochist would not encourage.
A common and introductory form of impact is OTK (over the knee) spanking using bare or gloved hands. Bare bottom spanking is a fun roleplay for Tops and subs to play around with, and how I like to start to get the blood flowing to the surface of the skin. It is vital to warm up the skin gently at first then getting stronger, before moving on to using other thuddy and stingy impact tools that could damage the skin. Start with gentler, softer strikes, building to harder ones and you will see the skin begin to redden as the blood rises to the surface, increasing tolerance and arousal.
Spanking can then lead into perhaps including some face slapping, then moving on to implements if you like: some light flogging on the bottom, on the thighs or between the legs (be careful!) introduces a different sensation. Use lighter instruments such as crops before moving on to heavier ones like paddles. For the more advanced, some whipping and caning would often be at the peak of the scene, as they require the skin to be well prepped to take such impact. I really enjoy caning, using a rounders bat (!) and my bare hands the most. I love the energy, the sound and the release of the motion. Hitting a bare backside with your hand is the most connected form of impact: pure skin on skin, every other form is indirect; a physical barrier between you and the other person, but not when you use your hands. I used to play a lot of sport growing up at a competitive level, so it’s rather fun to get to put old (clean!) equipment to good use, even a hockey stick on occasion! It amuses me to think that all those years ago, I couldn’t have imagined what I’d be using it for now!!!
The wonderful swishing sound of a cane through the air to tease my poor blindfolded sub: the desperate anticipation of a stroke, the sharp intake of breath on impact… Is there anything better? I adore caning. It delights me and I get a real sadistic kick out of it. I love to be as precise as I can to leave nice, clean marks all the while cackling, consoling, teasing the whimpering mess of a pathetic sub in front of me as they try to count to ten and take the strokes for me. It’s usually the climax of the scene in terms of pain so it’s always very highly charged with energy. It’s excellent.
I also love using a misery stick- a short, tiny, unassuming looking thin stick that delivers a very painful thwack, by bending it and pinging it onto the skin from a short distance , and is easy to mark with, particularly the inner thigh. Kinell sticks they’re also known as, ‘coz they make you shout ‘ -’KIN ‘ELL!!?’
I’m getting more into whipping and would love to become a true expert at it, but this takes a long time, a fair bit of space to practice and the waiting list for a proper handmade 8 ft bullwhip can be well over a year or two by the best makers! But I’ll get there.
3. Who is impact play for? For example, is it solely for pain sluts? How does one increase their pain threshold? And are safewords and aftercare mandatory?
I’d say it’s not at all just for pain sluts. Yes, predominantly masochists enjoy impact, as they want to suffer, and pain is more of a release for them than orgasm. It’s also for service sluts and subs who want to please Me and will do what it takes to delight me. I’m a sadist and enjoy watching my subs suffer for Me (consensually) and try their best.
Building tolerance to pain can be a real confidence booster, a huge endorphin release and something to be really proud of. It can make you feel like you can take on anything if you’ve taken a bit of a beating!
How does one increase their pain threshold? So firstly, pain threshold is different to pain tolerance. Your pain threshold is the minimum at which you feel pain, whereas pain tolerance is the maximum amount of pain you can take.
Sometimes my own pain threshold is high, sometimes it’s very low. It changes with my mood, it can also be down to a many varied number of factors. It’s the same for everyone. Pain tolerance can be built by, as I said, starting slow and working up, regardless of pain threshold, and regular sessions. It takes good intuition of a Top to know how and when to push the sub into taking that little bit more. And also when to stop or bring it down. That simply comes down to experience. Pain tolerance can be increased over time by exposure to pain stimuli.
There are many things that can affect your pain threshold. Stress, insomnia, drugs, depression, genetics, exercise levels can all mean you could have a lower than average pain threshold. If your pain threshold is low, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but that feeling of shame can be put to good use in a scene.
Using the traffic light system is very useful and I always use red as a safeword to stop play entirely. Mercy or amber can be used by the sub at leisure, but it entirely depends on the sub’s response to impact- ‘no, please, no’ can be code for ‘more, please more’. This is checked-in on and I would ask if that’s their way of telling me yes, so i say, is this still Green then? Say green if so. Green, mistress.
It’s about using intuition as well, on top of those words. If someone says they’re feeling very unwell, please stop, but haven’t said red, I’m still obviously going to stop. Some people go into a very non verbal, quiet place with impact, and only if you know them very very well, you get to know their body language and breathing rhythms which can guide you to know how they’re doing, also looking at their skin (if they’re okay with being marked/bruised), so I’m able to know if they need more, have had enough without verbal cues.. or know when to stop without them needing to safeword. But that is still a lot of responsibility for a top, so it is simpler using a safeword no matter how long you’ve known someone as it allows for just that one, short word to be used, even if a sub is in deep space and they can’t find their words easily. Doing an impact scene with someone you don’t know well should always definitely have safewords, but it is good practice to use them regardless of how long you’ve known someone in my opinion.
Aftercare is dependent on the sub. Some hardcore masochists don’t want any, as part of their kink however I obviously ensure the wellbeing of all my subs and get to know their preferences in terms of aftercare, for example be it giving them a sugary snack, a cup of tea and some water, followed by a chat about how it was for them, some words of encouragement, or they maybe just have a lie down and I will sit with them, perhaps a hug if it’s appropriate, and I sometimes like to ask for pictures and a bruise diary in the weeks after.
4. Have you ever taken a sub into deep subspace during an impact play scene? Can you share with us some of your favourite techniques?
Yes, often, and it’s so wonderful to witness this and brings me great joy. A sub recently who hadn’t previously shown interest in impact had asked for some in their next session, so I obliged and I went for a classic arc.
I had him crawl up onto the spanking bench, strapped down and bound and blindfolded, and I gently began to barely pat his backside, murmuring that he was being good, and gradually building up to some nice strong blows. He had good meaty buttocks and thighs so I was able to gauge how much force he could take. He enjoyed how much I enjoyed spanking him, and was taking it to please me, which is delightful, obviously. I experimented with one or two really hard smacks and he cried out Thank you mistress! Once he was nicely warmed up, I moved onto one flogger, then two at the same time, making sure he was counting what he was receiving and thanking me for the privilege. He did really well, I like to move between harder and softer blows to keep them guessing.. And then some consistently stronger ones to shift it up a gear. I find that consistent, rhythmic, buildable strokes are useful to help enter that sort of trance state known as subspace, increasing the intensity gradually but intentionally as well as relaxing the sub.
We moved onto using a paddle and he began to quieten and I could tell he was enjoying this particular feeling, and was moving into deeper subspace. The thuddy pain was definitely increasing, as were therefore the endorphins and adrenaline, but instead of writhing, he was still. I told him to focus on his breathing and breathe through the pain. Pain is meditative. it’s all you can focus on, it demands your attention, so all other thoughts leave you. It’s an incredibly present space. I rode the wave of energy that I could feel with him here and decided to move onto using a cane: the peak of the action. I asked him if he would like to be caned and he responded serenely with I want to please you mistress, use me how you see fit. I told him he was pleasing me and that I’d be even more pleased if he could take twenty strokes of my cane, each one harder than the last and that he would thank me for each one. It’s important to make sure I hit accurately and deliver blows of the cane across both cheeks equally as much as possible. Keeping my elbow close to my body and being the correct distance away, with his backside at my hip height, It got to about number 17 and he told me he felt like he was floating, and had the most ecstatic yet peaceful look on his face. It is so magical when that happens. Pain causes the central nervous system to release endorphins- proteins which act to block pain so as to help cope with it and work similarly to drugs such as morphine to induce feelings of euphoria. At 20 strokes, he was very red, and pumped full of endorphins. I didn’t particularly hit him with any extreme force, but it was unlike anything he had experienced, and he adored it. As did I. I released him from the bench and he laid down on the bed for a while with some water and chocolate, I stroked his hair and told him he’d been very good for me. Now he asks for impact most times!
5. Impact play is most commonly associated with ‘Teacher/student roleplay’. What are some of your best-loved uncommon impact play roleplays?
To be honest, it doesn’t really ever fall too far from the more common scenarios of teacher/student and mom/naughty ‘child’ and often people into impact just want to get straight to it, and instantly relax as soon as the scene starts. They enjoy the pure pain/pleasure of being hit by a tall, strong dominant woman in leather or latex, and that’s enough of a fantasy right there, ha!
6. I’ve read on your website that you trained at a prestigious drama school as an actor, is there a crossover between drama and roleplay? For example, how do you incorporate drama/acting into your sessions?
I’m a born performer, and I adore people. There is a definite crossover between theatre and kink. Acting has helped me with sessions but not necessarily in the way you might initially think. Yes, I am performing a ‘role’, as is the sub once they enter the space, but what is most important to remember is that good ‘acting’ is being truthful, listening and responding in the moment, being absolutely present, and channelling energy with the other person involved. I’m not suddenly this entirely different, over the top, dramatic character-obviously I’m still a heightened version of myself when I’m working- but it’s still ME. I’m actually being vulnerable and open and honest, and ask that of the sub, and it’s more honest than people get to be most of the time, and that’s key.
It obviously helps that I’m well versed in improvisation, feeling free and open to play (key word play!) and enthusiastic about the other person’s experience.
I am currently exploring the parallels of theatre to kink in terms of structure: that adhering to the rules of a five act story structure of a classical Shakespearean play can help transform a good kink scene into a great scene.
Stories have an arc- a beginning, a middle and an end. Within the beginning there is the exposition-that is, how things are currently, and then an inciting incident occurs which changes the course of normality-some conflict or predicament that needs solving which leads to the action rising in intensity and urgency towards a climax, after which there is a fall; the point of no return, finally the end, the resolution, and returning but changed, perhaps in some way renewed with lessons learnt.
This structure can be applied to kink to inform a scene. We start off as ourselves, then transform into mistress/sub and enter a journey of discovery during the course of a session, with rising action, such as increasing arousal via e.g teasing and impact, with the impact peaking at some point, (climax for me doesn’t tend to mean actual climactic orgasm, it means the strongest, maybe most difficult, most intense point of the scene, such as with a caning scene as discussed, then followed by the falling action, possibly involving activity that is more sexual here, even orgasm, before ending with e.g chains being undone or collar being removed to convey the scene being over, and aftercare and the sub being reintroduced back to society but returning to the world changed in some way afterwards. I had a chat about this idea on the kinky cocktail hour podcast with saffer master and lady petra,
Kinky Cocktail Hour podcast:
and it’s still an ongoing exploration that I’m looking to write about. I’m not interested in telling people how to play, rather helping perhaps newer players understand how to intuitively drive the action forward in a scene, learning the rules of something, letting that sink in then throwing out the rulebook and playing in the moment, the way actors do with rehearsal and performance.
7. What does a Domme get out of impact play? And what advice would you give to someone who’s about to experience impact play for the first time.
As a human being, I enjoy helping people become more courageous via their submission. I enjoy watching people’s growth and development through practising kink. Impact helps with discipline, with pain tolerance and literal release of tension.
As a sadist, I get off on watching people suffer. It’s quite simple.
My advice is to ensure your safewords, know that you are able to stop any time, to relax, and to breathe. And to know that you will definitely be able to handle more ( if not far more) than you think you might!
8. Lastly, feel free to shamelessly plug – why should one book a session with you. What would they get out of it?
If as an inexperienced sub, you are looking for a Domme who makes you feel instantly at ease; someone genuine, maternal, caring, powerful, good humoured and bloody wicked at the same time who towers over you, and you are willing to be vulnerable, hard working, respectful and obedient, then you and I could get along very well. I care deeply about helping you become your true self and discovering your inner strength. I have a lot of presence and energy and more experienced subs can benefit from my strength and power particularly in impact, but to worship my long legs or have the opportunity to be anywhere near me as I am of course very selective about who I work with, is a privilege not many get to experience. Visit my website: https://www.thejanegrey.com/ where you can apply for sessions (tip: be reasonably detailed and make me laugh!), treat yourself, it’s Christmas!!
Keep up to date with me on instagram @the_janegrey or @Thejane_grey on Twitter. And if you’d like to get my attention, or treat me for Christmas, there is a gift section on my website, with lots of affordable options too. Merry Christmas everyone, stay safe, stay kinky,
Love JG x
There we have it, impact players!
I hope you enjoyed reading this interview blog. A massive shout-out to Jane Grey! Thank you SO much for answering my questions so comprehensively.
Are you interested in serving the striking beauty – Jane Grey? Do you know someone who might be? If the answer is yes, then you know what to do.
Much Kink Love