Hey there, Beloved Chastity Lovers! Key Barrett is a published author who has 13 books on Goodreads. Key Barrett’s books touch on themes such as female led relationships, sub topics as well as chastity.
So, when I had the opportunity to interview Key Barrett, I was—needless to say super excited! If you are eager to learn more about male chastity, then please read on!
1. Can you define male chastity?
In this context, ‘Enforced’ male chastity refers to locking up your penis in a cage (usually steel, plastic or resin), and giving the key, and the power to lock or unlock to your keyholder. Most times your keyholder is your intimate partner, but not always. I put “enforced” in quotes because most chastity devices can be escaped, and it’s more of a promise to refrain from orgasm without the keyholder’s consent.
2. When did you first realise you had an interest in it?
Seeing it in porn certainly piqued an interest. It’s hard not to wonder what’s going on there. But my original interest was based on authentic writing. I had a femdom story I was writing that evolved around enforced male chastity (The Witch of Windsor Magazine), and I wanted to ensure that the character’s experience was authentic. So I consulted with my wife and we agreed to give it a try. To say it didn’t go as expected would be quite an understatement.
3. What is it that attracted you to male chastity?
Originally, it was for the writing, but very quickly, what attracted me to it was the very powerful feelings of love and devotion and ‘partnership’ that grew in me just by having my wife be my keyholder. It can be revelatory at times.
4. Is there an online community?
Yes! On twitter the #chastity tag is equal parts earnest community members lauding the praises of couple’s chastity, and pretty out there thematic porn. There are some good Reddit subforums, and some porny ones, and there are sites like chastity mansion where you can chat with other practitioners.
5. Why is male chastity so popular right now?
Proliferation of porn. The porn industry responds to consumer demand faster than just about any other industry. It’s click-driven. So if it sells, and it is legal, porn auteurs and actors will make what the consumer wants. Chastity augments whatever you’re doing. So in a vanilla context it augments vanilla sex and relationships. This part is very underrepresented in porn, because it’s not really filmable.
In cuckolding it ups cuck angst to another degree and represents another level of trust and commitment to the cuckoldress. There is a LOT of cuck porn out there. From what I gather from folks who would know like Cuckoldress Venus, cuck porn is a bad representation of actual cuckolding. But then most porn is a bad representation of actual intimacy, no matter what shape or form that intimacy takes.
In Femdom, it’s an added layer of submission and/or humiliation. It’s already fairly transgressive for a woman to peg a man, pegging him while denying him even an erection via a chastity device is another level.
A lot of chastity porn is based around humiliating the locked partner, but humiliation is not a requirement of chastity, and anybody trying this should feel free to draw that distinction early with your keyholder. If part of the fun IS humiliation, then go for it.
Where will it go from here? I don’t know that chastity will ever be as popular or as mainstreamed as pegging is, but I suspect it will pop into storylines in comedies first, then more mainstream shows, and finally we’ll have a storyline where it is a plot device and not the object of ridicule. Perhaps real scientific research will be performed to see what happens with the Dopamine-Prolactin-Oxytocin cycle; chastity seems to disrupt (in mostly positive ways).
6. Are there differences in interpretation in how chastity is implemented?
Yes! A very good question. Every person does it differently. Some people want to be in more-or-less permanent chastity. Some only wear for sex, some people are their own keyholders, meaning they can unlock themselves any time and do it for the challenge of staying locked (it takes a lot of willpower!). Folks such as myself go into chastity when my keyholder says it’s time, and stay locked until she says otherwise. Even with that, though, I often don’t wear it to bed. I’m not going to cheat while I’m asleep, and morning wood in chastity can be quite an unpleasant way to wake up!
7. By very definition chastity implies going without, where is the satisfaction element to it?
Well, sexual satisfaction does not need to have an end goal of orgasm to have your needs met. As the chaste partner, you get sensual satisfaction from doing things that give the keyholder pleasure. The experience of witnessing someone else’s pleasure knowing full well that this will be all you’re going to get can be a real treat. You’ll notice things about your partner that you hadn’t before. And every sight, sound, taste of their pleasure will be like manna from heaven to you. And then of course, when you are finally released, it’s one heck of an orgasm, because you have built up so much emotional, intimate and physical desire behind it, it’s hard to not have a powerful orgasm.
8. Male chastity – What’s in it for the female?
She benefits the most, because even his benefits are hers. His increased sense of togetherness, increased desire for intimacy and increased attention all have positive effects on the relationship and her self-esteem. Adopting the idea that being a keyholder really means it is all about her pleasure on her terms means she is free to take her time experiencing your attentions, with no pressure to ‘succeed’ or even reciprocate after. Seeing how you respond to her pleasure is very liberating and empowering for her. It’s not that she’s being given permission to be a selfish lover, it’s that her ‘selfishness’ is desired, craved even. Her pleasure is paramount, and her pleasure isn’t just a good thing, it’s sustaining for the health of the relationship and her keyheld partner. That takes intimacy to a whole new level and has positive, long-term effects on the relationship as a whole.
Just to note, being a keyholder is not gender specific or gender binary. Anyone can be a keyholder and get the same benefits. Same with being the chaste partner. It’s simply that one partner controls the release of the other, often by use of a chastity device like a cage.
9. What advice would you give to someone with an interest in exploring this?
Read up! There is my book on the subject, but there are resources like chastity mansion and others. All kinks are really mental to begin with, so if you know kind of what to expect going in, and what you’d like to have happen, you’ll have a more positive experience. You and your keyholder should set down the rules beforehand, discuss what you BOTH want out of it, and how you will communicate. Make a promise to your keyholder that you won’t cheat. These things will help ensure that it’s both a pleasant and fun bonding experiment and that you don’t treat your keyholder as your fetish dispenser. Being a keyholder should make their life easier, not more complicated.
10. Tell us what you delve into with your book?
A lot of what I’ve spoken about above. But I go into what it is really like to have your partner lock you in chastity for two weeks. This includes good pain vs bad pain, avoiding the drop if your partner releases you, and a lot about the emotions you might be feeling and how to channel them. For a lot of people, male chastity is a surprise emotional rollercoaster, and without any understanding of the what and why, it can be intimidating. But just knowing that feeling goosebumps when your partner touches you is normal, helps put the emotions in context and, I like to think, heightens the experience.
There we have it, Chastity Lovers! A big shout out to Key Barrett – Thank you for sharing your story and for giving a realistic insight into what chastity is really like in a marriage.
And on Twitter @keybarrettmsc so you don’t miss the latest.
I hope you enjoyed reading this male chastity interview blog. Are you interested in chastity play? Do you know someone who might be? Let’s support each other so please feel free to SHARE this blog post with others. Feel free to hit me up on Twitter @podofeleus and Instagram @Podopheleus.
Much Kink Love
P.S. Have you read the latest of the Submissive Husband Stories…?! Follow Roger and wife, I mean Goddess Margaret on their kinky adventures.