Non-consensual sexual contact / consent is everything

Hello again, Kinksters!

I’m going to tell a story about something that happened to me when I was 14 years old. My story involves an incident of non-consensual sexual contact.

Okay…here it goes… When I was 14 years old, my auntie and cousin came over from Greece, to stay with us for a couple of weeks. The last time I saw my aunt and cousin I was maybe 7 or 8 years old. After reuniting with my cousin and aunt, I thought they brought the funkiest gifts. A very unusual looking watch, and a key-ring flashlight. Anyhoo! With that said, we didn’t exactly hit it off. We didn’t have much in common. He was a huge fan of the British dance-pop groups S Club 7 and Steps and I was into hardcore Hip-Hop. As you can see, something wasn’t quite right here. OK, I’m just playing. But on serious note, I had some very strong instinctual feelings that something wasn’t quite right about my cousin. However, I chose to ignore it. He was 4 to 5 years older than me, I think at the time he was 18 or 19 years old. When my mum suggested I share a room with my cousin, well… I was not overly enthusiastic because I love my own personal space. Nevertheless, I agreed to sharing a room with my cousin because I didn’t want to be rude.

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A true story about Non-consensual sexual contact

So, the first night I shared a room with my cousin, Erm… Let’s just say it didn’t go very well. Are you intrigued to find out? Ok, so, this is what happened. My cousin and I were laying in our beds after an incredibly long day. The room was pitch-black and we began a conversation about porn and masturbation. Funnily enough, I don’t recall how one initiated such a conversation. Still, I was intrigued because this was before I had even started masturbating. As for my cousin? Well… He was a professional wanker. He explained that he had watched porn on a regular basis and he went on to explain that he jerks off 3-4 times a day and he mentioned that he gets a lot of enjoyment from jacking off. I found it to be really interesting, I appreciated his honesty and for being so open about everything. Then he asked me if I had ever seen a man’s cock before. “In real life or on TV.” I asked. He said “in real life, and I’m not talking about seeing your dad’s cock when you were little.” I was confused as to why he had asked me this question. When I responded “No,” he said, “Ok, where is the flashlight I bought, just for you?” I said, “it’s here, next to me.” “Please switch it on, I want to show you something.” He replied. “Do what?” I asked. “It’ll be real quick,” he said. I hesitantly switched on the flashlight and he was sitting butt naked, cross-legged on the bed, and he had a friggin’ boner. He raised his arms over his head forty five degrees and said “Whoopee!” As if he were revealing some big surprise. My immediate reaction was, what the heck? I switched off the light. “Goodnight.” I said. And then he slowly crawls into my bed. “I want to see your cock and I’m not going to move unless you show it to me.” He said. I was tempted to punch him in the face, but I didn’t want to cause a scene. Not under my parents’ roof. I didn’t want to wake up the whole house, that is exactly what I wanted to avoid. So I used a different approach. As politely as I could, I told him to fuck off. What I basically said to him was that I would tell his mother and the rest of the family about his non-consensual perverted behaviour, if he didn’t back off. As you can imagine, he moved swiftly. Then started to swear and curse in Greek. He was calling me all kinds of names, and trying to make me feel bad for not showing him my cock. Seriously — what the fuck!

Non-consensual sexual contact
Non-consensual sexual contact

Why am I telling you this story?

The Podopheleus movement encourages and supports expressions of all sexuality. We should be able to express ourselves without fear of judgment or feeling stigmatized. Nevertheless, that does not give anyone the right to non-consensual expression of sexuality. My cousin was a closet homosexual and there’s nothing wrong with that. Considering, he goes about it in the right way. He failed to face his greatest fears consensually and he preyed on a child. Which is absolutely horrific when you think about it. What would have happened if I did absolutely nothing?

The point I’m trying to get at here is just because you are gay doesn’t mean you can pull out your cock on other men without their consent. Just because you have a foot fetish doesn’t mean you can go around sucking on random toesies without their consent. Just because you are a Dominant doesn’t mean you can go around face slapping and spitting in people’s faces and calling random men “pathetic losers” without their consent. Guys, I encourage you to explore your fetishes, your kinks, and your sexuality without feeling shame or guilt. But before you do anything, just remember this: consent is everything.

There we have it, kinksters! I hope you enjoyed reading this blog. Please feel free to SHARE this post with others.

To learn more about consent, please check out my rhyming poem. Not all men: calling out rape culture

Feel free to hit me up on Twitter @podofeleus and Instagram @Podopheleus.

Much Kink Love


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