What’s new Kinksters? In today’s blog I’m going to talk about Safewords.
What the heck is a safeword?
I thought you’d never ask!
A safeword is a code word or a non-verbal signal used in the course of any kind of consensual BDSM activity. It is commonly used by submissives to:
1. Convey their sensual and emotional state to their Dominant.
2. To stop play immediately when boundaries are crossed.
What are some examples of good safewords?
It is entirely up to you really! Keep it simple though. There’s no need to over do it by using words like “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”
Geez! That is a bit of a mouthful!
Most widely used is the traffic light system. For example:
Red means STOP!… Right friggin’ now!
Amber could mean several different things. E.g.
- Slow it down a little.
- I gotta pee.
- Can I talk to you for a second.
Green means go go go!
However. Do not hesitate to tap into your creative self to come up with your own safewords.
How do I use a safeword if I’m being gagged?
Mamma Mia! That is a outstanding question. Do you remember when I mentioned “non-verbal signals?”
Anyhoo! This is one example.
You are being dominated by two stunning Dommes. You lucky kinky fucker! You are being skullfucked/face-fucked while also being ass fucked with a strap-on. However, it’s very intense. Any moment now you are going to throw up. So you use your non-verbal signal by tapping three times and everything stops. Just like that you saved yourself from throwing up all over a Dommes strap-on dildo. Thank heavens!
Here is one more example.
You are being ball gagged and whipped. However, the pain is too much to bear. Furthermore, how in the hell do you use a safeword with a ball gag in your mouth?! So, to get your Dommes attention you start humming a song or a further option is to snap your fingers. Anyhoo! You have successfully communicated your safeword to your Domme.
“Thanks non-verbal signals for saving my ass”
Once again, do not hesitate to tap into your creative self to come up with your own non-verbal signals.
How frequently do you use your safeword?
You talking to me? Erm… Honestly, I have never needed to use a safeword. I enjoy being foot gagged and FaceFucked a little bit too much. Preferably, the more forceful the better. Green light all the way. Go go go!!!
Of course though, everyone is different. So use your safewords (verbal and non-verbal) openly as and when needed.
If I use my safeword does that mean I have failed my Domme?
Absolutely not! If something is making you feel extremely uncomfortable or you are having unpleasant sensations then let your Dominatrix know.
It’s essential to know your limits. Safety comes first! Being open and honest in a D/S relationship is so friggin’ important because it helps your Domme to understand what your needs are. Furthermore, you will build a stronger connection with your Domme.
From my experience, Dommes are understanding and compassionate people. To learn more about this I would strongly advise reading my blog, The other side to Dommes.
Are safewords necessary?
As already stated. I believe in honest and open communication. I’m always upfront and honest when it comes to expressing what I want to Dommes I session with. Being specific is imperative. Hence, to why I have never needed to use a safeword.
However. It might be needed for extreme BDSM consensual activities for instance flogging, caning and whipping. Nevertheless, this should be discussed beforehand with your partner/Domme.
Much Kink Love