1. Lady Petra and Saffermaster. Tell us your backgrounds, how you met and how you came to be in a relationship?
a. SafferMaster: I was in a long-term marriage to a woman with whom I had children. That’s the reason it was a long-term marriage. We were sexually incompatible. I fantasized about kink from the time I was 16 years old. Late in my marriage I saw the movie “Secretary” and my context shifted. In my marriage, our incompatibility ultimately led to our divorce, and that in turn allowed me to take a deep dive into kink and to engage in an exhaustive inquiry into intimacy. At a certain point, I was motivated to write a “seeking post” on Fetlife that Lady Petra responded to where I laid out my relationship construct: a 24/7 TPE D/s dynamic with the intention of creating intimacy, relatedness, companionship, adventure, joy and love. We courted for about 6 months before we made the choice to engage in hard core kink scene. We were clearly sexually compatible. Before long, Lady Petra put herself forward to be claimed. After a year of growing in our dynamic together, I offered her my collar when her divorce was finalized. It was my view at the outset that I needed a D/s dynamic that was both sex forward and kink forward, and I sincerely believed that a 24/7 TPE was the ideal relationship construct for me to be fulfilled both in terms of my sexuality, and therefore in relationship. So far so good. The fact that we spoke daily for almost 6 months and met for meals or drinks several times before we began to play was pivotal. We worked out the details of a 24/7 dynamic in conversation over a long period of time and found agreement before we took the first step to create the dynamic sexually. She was completely enrolled in the idea of being collared as my 3-hole whore. She had to overcome some resistance to submitting to a sadist at first, and yet she still chose to do so because in me she saw the man she was made for just as in her, I saw the submissive who was made for me. We had vision congruence in the possibility of the dynamic. To initiate the dynamic, I required that she put herself forward without any coercion. It’s a big step to surrender your power, and so she had to do so as a matter of choice. She had to kneel for me because she wanted to kneel for me. She was free to choose to gift me her power or not. For a TPE to work the power exchange must occur voluntarily. I invited her to offer herself to be claimed and, In the end, she had to register herself into the dynamic.
b. Lady Petra: As boring as it sounds, I married the first guy I had sex with. I had no idea who I was or what I wanted. I believed that if I didn’t marry him, I would never get married as “I was damaged goods” and “not worthy”. After nine years of “living in sin”, we got married and eventually had two children. 20 years later, with kids in school I began to question why I was even married. The marriage had devolved into a loveless, emotionally abusive existence. I was lonely and I wanted out. Despite that feeling growing inside me, I remained committed to getting my children through high school before departing. The result was that I descended into “survival mode” to get through those 10 years.
Sexually, during my marriage, I was never brought to orgasm by my ex. I faked it to appease his tender narcissistic ego. The Hitachi Wand was my most intimate companion. During the last couple years of my marriage, when I began feeling that the end was near, I started to explore my sexuality in chat rooms. First, I just observed and later I began engaging with others. I found that I kept gravitating to “kink rooms” or “BDSM chat rooms”. I really had no idea why, but something inside me craved the D/s conversation. The draw was strong, I wanted to serve a Master. I began searching for dominant men that aligned with me in chat rooms. It was a frustrating experience that left me feeling empty because most of the men I engaged with were just trying to get-off, and it was hard to find those any who were themselves interested in the D/s rituals, protocols, and tasks I craved. I began seeing through the posers and finally met a man in a chat room who was able to interact with me as a submissive in the manner that aligned with what I fantasized about and was searching for. We played online for over a year. Even though I became quite attached, it was unfulfilling as an online fling because I needed something “REAL”. I made the choice to end the online relationship in order to initiate a search in my local community to find a Dom to serve.
When I found the website “FetLife” it occurred to me that I would be able to find a dominant I could play with in person, I wanted “REAL”. I initiated a search, and methodically beginning with the “A’s” in my local area and sorted by Dominants. I am a very disciplined person and I set out to sort through the profiles systematically. I was very intentional. I read their profile “about”, I looked at their writing and their photos if they interested me. What I learned quickly was that most of the “Doms” I found were either posers, weekend dominants or role players wanting to hook-up. I wanted more. My desire was to find a long-term relationship with a Master I could grow with in my kink. After days or sorting through the weeds in A-M, I chose to reverse the alphabet and searched starting at “Z”. I was getting exasperated by the time I got to “S”, and I was feeling a little discouraged. Then I found SafferMaster’s profile (luckily, “Sa” was at the top of the “S” search). When I read his profile the first time, it quite literally took my breath away. I was stopped in my tracks. I stared at the screen reading and rereading his profile again and again. I was moved by his intention to find his ideal submissive and create a lifestyle dynamic. It was exactly what I wanted. It felt like he knew me already…that he wrote that post to me personally. I could not unsee this. So, I “perved” (searched through) his profile, his writing, his pics and his videos, and I discovered that he was already playing with another sub. Although I was initially disappointed, I chose to reach out to him without any expectations and start a conversation with him. My intention was to get to know him, find out more about him, even learn from him. His writing spoke to me deeply and I thought at the very least, he might be able to connect me with someone similar to himself. Once we started chatting though, I was hooked. I couldn’t unsee him for who he was. I believed in my heart he was “the One”, my “One”. We courted via text and phone for over 4 months before meeting in person. When we finally met, at the very moment he entered the room the energy between us was palpably electric. I had never felt that occur with another human before. Late in the summer, I initiated divorce proceedings in order to leave my ex for good. My children had just graduated, and I was ready to move on.
SafferMaster had thoughtfully made beginning our dynamic conditional on me getting complete with my marriage. With my divorce in process, I separated from my husband, and then he proposed that to initiate our dynamic I would need to “choose be claimed”. I had no idea what that meant exactly. I was apprehensive because I knew him to be a sadist and I was not even sure about my own masochism. Would I be enough? I put myself forward, and to my delight he claimed me! Soon after I moved in with him and we began living in a REAL 24/7 TPE. The first year was a whirlwind and when my divorce was finalized, he offered me his collar. He collared me. Our dynamic continues to transform as our love deepens. We are exploring the rabbit hole together holding hands and loving it!
2. Lady Petra you are a switch, Saffermaster you are a Dom, can you explain these terms to the uninitiated, and how this works on your relationship?
a. SafferMaster: This dynamic is a TPE and I am the Dom who leads the dynamic. Lady Petra always submits to me. I have her consent. The fact that she might appear to be topping me in a sexual scene, for example, is an illusion. She does what I ask. On the other hand, I am a stand for her freedom, power and full self-expression. We created the coaching program, for example, as one way for her to be fully self-expressed as a Domme. I have encouraged her to take on submissive men or women to dominate. Her special skill is in coaching and disciplining people to be healthier and to live with integrity. It’s a pleasure to watch her “no bullshit” approach with people. On the other hand, between us, her and I, her way of being is 100% submissive.
b. Lady Petra: I am a service submissive to SafferMaster…almost slavish, although I retain my agency. I chose to gift my submission to the man I chose. He has my power. In all other areas of my life, I am recognizably Dominant. SafferMaster uplifts me in all aspects of my life and supports my interests, goals, and ideas. At the same time, I will drop everything for him based on his desires. I have never felt as happy, confident, joyful or fulfilled as I am in this dynamic. We created our Kink Relationship Coaching Program with the intention of helping kinksters find their ideal relationship dynamic. Their “One” or their “Many” as it were. We have unlocked something special, and we are committed to sharing what we found so others can similarly discover, experience and enjoy what we have created with each other.
3. You’ve said you live in a 24/7/TPE relationship, what is that exactly and what are the pros and cons?
a. SafferMaster: All kink dynamics have one basic idea in common. That is that nothing happens without full informed consent. Early on, we established the hard limits. Inside of those limits, I have her consent. Her consent is present 24-hours a day and 7-days a week. It never switches off. She lives to serve me. This lifestyle enables us to be our authentic selves. There is no downside to this for us. None. Neither one of us finds so called “roll play” kink fulfilling. Kink for us is not a roll play scene. I am her chosen Dom. Her Master, her Sir, and her Daddy. She is my property. She is not a slave because she has full agency. And with free will and volition, she chooses to kneel for me. We approach each day as a new day which implies that she must choose newly to kneel each and every day. Our dynamic is alive. I claimed her at the start, and then as we lived together, we found that we were aligned in almost every possible way. When her divorce was complete and she had space for a new relationship commitment, I offered her my collar which she gleefully accepted. She is now my collared slut. It’s perfect. A TPE is not for everyone, and you can be sure that we are not suggesting “our way is the way to kink”. We believe that there is no right way to kink, and the way we kink works for us.
b. Lady Petra: I defer to SafferMaster’s explanation of the 24/7 TPE dynamic. The pros are that I am living a in a relationship with power freedom and full self-expression which is 100% opposite to the way I lived in my earlier marriage before. Living authentically as we do in this dynamic has transformed my life from “ordinary” into “extraordinary”. SafferMaster describes me this way: he says “you are like a flower, once dormant, that has finally blossomed”.
4. What advice would you give to a couple looking to enter a relationship like yours?
a. Saffermaster. The secret sauce in kink dynamics, as it is in all relationships for that matter, is communication. Being in a dynamic like ours requires complete authenticity. It’s also true that one must be “present” moment to moment. To help with that, we engage in a daily gratitude practice, and we stay in action in our dynamic. I am 100% responsible for the dynamic. She is also 100% responsible for the health of the dynamic. This is a day-to-day experience. We are each committed that no space exists between us. Lady Petra has zero responsibility for my happiness. I create her and she creates me newly every day. This relationship requires that we each operate with complete integrity regarding the other. We also have it that there is “nothing wrong” and “nothing to fix”. This means that we deal with “what’s so” about a concern, not the story about the concern. Choosing to be individually responsible for the dynamic is the probably most important consideration. This means that we each must act inside of that beingness to keep the relationship on a healthy and sustainable footing. To this end, we use an app tool designed for discipline-based dynamics to help us manage the protocols and tasks in our day-to-day experience of each other called “WeMinder”. We recommend it for couples trying to make their D/s dynamic run smoothly. You can find it at here. WeMinder allows me to task her and to be in communication about tasks that are important to our dynamic, and to record behaviours, misbehaviours, rewards and punishments. Communication is the key. “WeMinder” is a great tool that keeps our dynamic running smoothly.
b. Lady Petra: We have navigated and developed our relationship from our own experience. All the conversations we engaged in and the agreements we made at the outset, that we continue to adjust day to day, occur from a place of knowing ourselves completely. The best advice I can offer someone considering a kink dynamic of any sort would be to know themselves first. I recommend that people participate in our Phase 1 “Task-A-Day” Coaching program. The reason I say that is that the program generates daily tasks for a person to completely unwrap and discover who they are as a kinkster and to identify who would align with them perfectly. The tasks are in the form of reading, writing and action tasks that both dominants and submissives can/should do to reveal one’s true self as a sexual creature. Should a person begin there, the odds of successfully navigating their kink journey is greatly enhanced.
5. Lady Petra is collared to SafferMaster. Explain to us what it means to be collared and how do you both benefit from this?
a. SafferMaster: The collar is a symbol of our commitment to each other. It is not as if the collar itself determines anything. She actually wears 3 items of jewellery to reflect her status as collared. She has an ankle collar that was the first collar she got on the day I collared her. Then she has a “day collar” in the form of a necklace (that may be interpreted as jewellery by the uninitiated. These two collars always remain on. Finally, she has her hard stainless-steel collar that she wears from Friday evening when she returns from work till Sunday night at bedtime. I remove and replace her hard collar each time. Think of her as “being collared” regardless of the ways we represent that commitment through jewellery. The collar itself represents that she is my property. It’s similar to the ring couples use to symbolize their marriage, although it means so much more to us. The dynamic is so much deeper than a marriage and the commitment level so much more profound. She is my property, and I am her owner and the collar itself, the collaring ceremony we participated in and our day-to-day experience of being alive and actively creating the dynamic supports our dynamic in its entirety. We are committed, not attached. We are responsible. In my case I am responsible for her sexual and emotional wellbeing. Another aspect of our dynamic is that weekly, I mark my property. This is a process whereby she kneels for me and offers me the cane to mark her. She recreates our dynamic every time she does this.
b. Lady Petra: Well said by SafferMaster. We are aligned and in agreement about what it means to be collared. One additional item is that the hard collar completes me and when it is off, I feel incomplete. However, even without it on, I am always collared, owned and devoted to SafferMaster. I am his slut, his property and his fuck toy to use as he pleases within our agreements. He marks me with a cane to illustrate his love for me and I love being his marked collared slut.
To read about sexualising my slut click here.
6. You are also both coaches, tell us what exactly you coach people/couples on? What services you offer, and what qualifies you both to be coaches?
a. SafferMaster: We are committed to being a contribution to the kink community. My background as an educator, coach and teacher with a lifetime of experience prepared me to offer my coaching services to others. For example, one part of my experience is that at Landmark Worldwide, I served as a Head coach in the Self-Expression and Leadership Program. Together, we crafted a program to effectively put people in action to achieve their relationship goals. The programs are designed to guide a person in their self-discovery by first taking a deep dive into their own motivations and then to get them in action so that they achieve their relationship goals and objectives.
b. We offer three tiers of coaching and have made access affordable for the masses.
- The first tier is the “Task-A-Day” program that is a 90-day program of self-guided discovery. We also use this program in our vetting process for new submissives eager to please Lady Petra.
- The second tier is the “Group Coaching Call”, which is a conversation that occurs weekly for 12-weeks with 5 other clients and the coach. Each week, the dives into a specific distinction related to what a person learned about themselves in the “Task-A-Day” program. This program is an internet or conference call meeting.
- The third and most effective tier is “Personal Coaching”. This is a one-on-one weekly conversation between the client and the coach for a minimum 3-month commitment. In each of these paradigms, the objective is to get the clients in action to achieve their personal intentions. This coaching involves both virtual and in-person meetings between the client and coach.
- We also offer “Online Domination” coaching for those subs who wish for Lady Petra to assign a daily domination task – also a minimum 90-day set of tasks.
c. Lady Petra: I have been a professional coach for 33-years, an educator in the classroom for 18-years and a recreation therapist for 5-years. I have completed the Landmark Education including participation in the Self Expression and Leadership Program. I leverage my skills to help individuals reach their potential and I especially enjoy it If they need discipline to help keep them on track. As a masochist submissive living in a 24/7 TPE dynamic, I relate to my clients on a deep level because the tasks I assign are tasks I have done myself.
7. Lastly why should our readers book you, how can they book you and anything else you’d like to say to our readers?
a. SafferMaster: It comes down to this. Consider that most of what prevents us as human beings from having what we want in relationship and life comes from within. We are our own worst enemies, and we do not even realize it. We have constraints on our life that are hidden from our view, things we believe to be true that have no basis in reality sourced from our childhoods. The coaching program helps a person cut through noise to identify the constraints on their happiness and the program puts them in action to achieve exactly what they intend in relationship. Its extraordinarily effective coaching.
- The best way to reach out to us is via email. Ladypetraplayground@gmail.com or email@example.com.
- You can register for coaching by visiting our Patreon.
- We also produce the Kinky Cocktail Hour podcast which you can find here or on your favourite podcast directories including Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, iTunes and others.
- To follow us on the web, visit Lady Petra’s Playground.
b. Lady Petra: Ditto
There we have it, Kinksters! A big shout out to Lady Petra and Saffermaster for answering my questions so comprehensively.
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Much Kink Love