Guest Blog: Sex with Transgender Women: An Inquiry by SafferMaster

I am as heterosexual as they come. I have no real attraction to dicks or men at all. I am deeply into cis women and have been for as long as I recall. In my reality, my life as lived, I have never had any desire to have sex with men, or considered myself as having a desire for cock.

On the other hand, I have had fantasies over the years with more or less frequency of being pegged by a woman wearing a strap on, and I have fantasized being “taken” by a woman with a strap on. With that backdrop, I found myself watching a show on HBO some years ago, I think it was called “Real Sex” where the episode began showing the HBO crew filming a porn movie set. In the set, the film crew was filming two beautiful busty women drinking champagne in a bathtub together as the prelude to a sexual encounter.

They were really beautiful women, they had great tits. Then, the director of the film crew took a break and the two women stood up and both were very well endowed trans women, chicks with dicks, and that was my first experience seeing real life trans women in the flesh.

Ever since then I have had a bit of a fascination with trans women, and over the years I have fantasized about a threesome with my cis-female partner and a trans woman with a dick. The movie “The Crying Game” (1992) had a story line of a cis male falling in love with a trans woman that he did not realize was trans. I remember the feelings I had when she revealed herself as a trans woman. I was emotionally involved with her and so her sudden appearance as a trans woman with a dick did not offend me. She was more than her dick. 

My fantasies

The idea of a trans woman fucking my partner while she sucks my cock is still a very appealing fantasy to me. I occasionally flip the fantasy with the similar fantasy I have dreaming about a woman with a strap on fucking my girlfriend while she sucks my cock. More recently, as I have been exploring prostate play more regularly, I have fantasized when my girlfriend is fingering my ass about a trans woman fucking me. My entire experience in this realm has been in the form of fantasy. 

I have often wondered about this particular fantasy. Given that I fantasize about women exclusively, how do trans women end up in my fantasies? 

Researchers examination

Researchers examined this question and published the paper “The Role of the Illusion in the Construction of erotic Desire: Narratives from Heterosexual Men Who have Had Occasional Sex with Transgender Women” in Pub Med and there are several other studies along the same lines.

In their abstract, Reback et al note that “Little is known about men’s sexual desire for and erotic attraction to male-to-female transgender women.” Their examination involved a sample of heterosexual men who had experienced occasional sexual encounters with transgendered women. They identified 3 themes to describe the attraction:

  1. the erotic desire that transpired from a transgender woman’s construction of her femininity;
  2. the sexual act that dictated specific navigation of a transgender woman’s penis; and
  3. the sexual dissonance that resulted from being a heterosexually identified man having sex with a partner who had a penis.

As a result of their inquiry, they noted that, “The role of the ‘illusion’ was central in the meaning and construction of erotic desire.” 

They note that as of the time of publication, 2017, “Men who have sex with trans women have received limited attention in sexuality research.” As recently as 1984, sexual attraction to trans women has been pathologized, labeling men as ‘gynemimetophiles’ and recommended treatment for such preferences including endocrine treatment and mental-health counseling.

Historically, the studies that identified “the desired sexual partner as cross-dresser, transvestite, transsexual, or she-male”. Lacked a specific understanding of a transgender identity and viewed the object of sexual desire as paraphilia.

Recent studies – Sex with Transgender Women

More recent studies have attempted to understand the ways in which men describe their desire for, attraction to and sexual experience with trans women. Weinberg and Williams, in 2009 for example, showed “qualitative findings demonstrated the presence of ‘objectified embodiment’ among the men toward their trans women sexual partners, i.e., the body of the trans woman was described as the object of the men’s desire. Analysis of the men’s desire was rooted in the trans women’s bodily appearance and physical anatomy. The men found the atmosphere (where the interviews were conducted) in the bar – in which they received flattery, flirtatious comments, and physical contact – to be highly erotic.” 

In 2008, Operario, et al examined perceptions of identity and meanings of sexual behavior among men who have sex with trans women, identified three general patterns of erotic attraction:

  1. attraction to an individual who happened to be a trans woman rather than an attraction to trans women as a group; thus, the individual desire for sexual partnership dominated the interactions;
  2. attraction to trans women because of their challenge to the traditional gender binary, in which case political or philosophical desire motivated sexual attraction; and,
  3. an explicit interest in the trans body, a trans woman’s physical appearances, and an attraction to eroticized femininity or hyper-femininity or the specific physical anatomical features of some trans women.

In 2013,m Mauk and Muñoz sought to describe the ways in which men who have sex with trans women constructed meaning to their sexual practices. They identified 3 distinct themes of desire:

  1. the phallus-centric theme, which was categorized by a man’s attraction to a trans woman’s penis and emphasized the physical body of trans women;
  2. the social desire for a relationship or companionship whereby an encounter with a trans woman might have started as a sexual fantasy but then developed into an intimate relationship; and,
  3. sex with a trans woman as a way to explore men’s own femininity by dressing in women’s clothes or performing as drag queens.

Further studies

While most agree that sexual desire plays a central role in sexual practices, few agree or attempt to define just what sexual and erotic desire is and how it influences sexual preferences and behaviors especially as it related to sex with Trans women.  

“We do know that imagination and desire are looked upon as major determinants of male sexuality. It is well known that imagination represents one of the fundamental dimensions of human cognition. It is theorized that during the early phases of development, the close interaction of imagination and erotic desire leads to the formations of psychical representatives of experiences of satisfaction that influence sexual and nonsexual behavior by establishing an internalized structure of blueprints for satisfaction.

These blueprints can also be viewed as an important step in the development of autonomy. It is also noted that sex differences can be found primarily in the function and employment of erotic fantasies. Compared to women men tend to use their erotic imagery to a much higher degree as a compensation for a lack of sexual satisfaction.” (Hartmann) 

Study by Morton and Gorzalka

Another study by Morton and Gorzalka examined the role of “partner novelty” in sexual functioning, and differences between the sexes. Their review of the literature concluded that “The current literature best supports the predictions made by sexual strategies theory in that sexual functioning has evolved to promote short-term mating. Sexual arousal and desire appear to decrease in response to partner familiarity and increase in response to partner novelty in men and women. Evidence to date suggests this effect may be greater in men.”

Study by Hsu et al (GAMP)

An interesting study by Hsu et al published in 2015 examined and attempted to characterize men with sexual interesting in transgender women. In their background to the research, they noted “Gynandromorphophilia (GAMP) is sexual interest in gynandromorphs (GAMs; colloquially, shemales). GAMs possess a combination of male and female physical characteristics. Thus, GAMP presents a challenge to conventional understandings of sexual orientation as sexual attraction to the male v. female form. Speculation about GAMP men has included the ideas that they are homosexual, heterosexual, or especially, bisexual.”

To study this they compared genital and subjective sexual arousal patterns of GAMP men with those of heterosexual and homosexual men. They also compared self0-ratings of sexual orientation and sexual interests. The results were fascinating. They found that GAMP men had arousal patterns similar to those of heterosexual men and different from those of homosexual men.

However, compared to heterosexual men, GAMP men were relatively more aroused by GAM erotic stimuli than by female erotic stimuli. GAMP men also scored higher than both heterosexual and homosexual men on a measure of autogynephilia. They conclude that there is clear evidence that GAM men are NOT homosexual.

They also concluded that GAMP men are especially likely to eroticize the idea of being a woman. Their major conclusion after reviewing the literature then is that the “Results provide clear evidence that GAMP men are not homosexual. They also indicate that GAMP men are especially likely to eroticize the idea of being a woman.

In a study by Murry et al, they examined “A Qualitative Exploration of Factors That Affect Sexual Desire Among Men Aged 30 to 65 in Long-Term Relationships” and concluded that “men’s sexual desire may be more complex and relational than previous research suggests.” Finding 14 themes and 23 sub themes which “were identified to capture men’s descriptions of eliciting and inhibiting factors of their sexual desire. 

Examining male attraction to transgender woman 

In 2018, Reback, Larins and Clark examined male attraction to transgender woman in their published article “Motivations for a Casual or Occasional Sexual Encounter with a Man and/or Transgender Woman among Heterosexual Men: Toward a Better Understanding of Atypical Sexual Partnering”. Noting that little is known about the motivations for an occasional sexual encounter with a man or a transgender woman among heterosexual men.

They employed qualitative methods to better understand occasional atypical sexual partnering. They found that Participants were motivated by:

  1. the easy, uncomplicated nature of a sexual encounter with a man and/or a trans woman that often circumvented the sexual politics of a typical male-female interaction and/or,
  2. the sexual experimentation that took place with these partners; and/or,
  3. the default nature of such encounters when a cisgender woman sexual partner was unavailable or perceived to be unattainable.

These findings indicated that, among this sample of heterosexual men, the motivations for occasional atypical sexual partnering with a man or a transgender woman were varied, complex and could be multifaceted. Furthermore, these findings support prior studies that have demonstrated that sexual behavior can span beyond sexual identity.

ConclusionSex with Transgender Women

So where does this leave me in my inquiry?

The current literature does not classify my desire or fantasy about sex with a trans woman as a homosexual activity, nor is the interest in doing so considered a homosexual desire on its face. Second, the reality is supported in the literature, that fantasizing about sex with trans women is a normal male response.

Will my fantasies ever be realized? I cannot say. For the moment I am in a monogamous dynamic with my collared slut. We have never seriously discussed bringing another person into our dynamic. I can say that if anything like that should occur it would have to occur as an agreement with my slut to experiment with polyamory, something neither one of us is particularly interested in.

So, from where I stand, I can say that I understand myself better as a result of engaging in this inquiry. I am not a heterosexual male with homosexual tendencies, my fantasies about sex with a trans woman is a normal fantasy for a heterosexual male to engage in, and for now will remain a fantasy. 

Citations

  • The Role of the Illusion in the Construction of Erotic Desire: Narratives from Heterosexual Men Who Have Occasional Sex with Transgender Women – Reback et al 2016
  • Imagination and desire: reflections on the determination of male sexuality – Hartmann 1994
  • Role of Partner Novelty in Sexual Functioning: A Review – Morton and Gorzalka 2014
  • Who are gynandromorphophilic men? Characterizing men with sexual interest in transgender women – Hsu et al 2015
  • A Qualitative Exploration of Factors That Affect Sexual Desire Among Men Aged 30 to 65 in Long-Term Relationships – Murray et al 2016
  • Motivations for a Casual or Occasional Sexual Encounter with a Man and/or Transgender Woman among Heterosexual Men: Toward a Better Understanding of Atypical Sexual Partnering – Reback et al 2018
  • Men sexually interested in transwomen (MSTW): gendered embodiment and the construction of sexual desire – Weinberg and Williams 2010
  • Men who have sex with transgender women: challenges to category-based HIV prevention – Operario et al 2008

Thank you for reading this article!

SafferMaster

Follow me on twitter @Master206Saffer

Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast platforms and here: https://kinkycocktailhour.buzzsprout.com/

Thank you SafferMaster!

There we have it, Kinksters! I hope you enjoyed reading this incredibly insightful guest blog on sex with transgender women. A big shout-out to SafferMaster! Are you interested in finding out more about sex with transgender women? Do you know someone who might be? Let’s support each other, Kinksters! So please feel free to SHARE this guest blog with others. Feel free to hit me up on Twitter @podofeleus and Instagram @Podopheleus, or send a message via my contact page.

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