Sexualizing my slut – what does that mean? we hear it all the time. The Dom says: “I’m going to train you” or you hear of a slut seeking, “to be trained”. As a D-type, I keyed in on this idea. To “train a slut to please me” seemed like a great intention to pursue. I spent years exploring my dominance with a range of submissive women and in that crucible, I formulated the foundational ideas I had for “training my slut for my use.” I was achieving clarity of thought in this realm when I found her, the slut I was going to sexualize and train.

In my imagination, the perfect slut for me is completely sexualized. Throughout my life, I was always a little surprised when I met a woman who was as sexually driven as I was. I have a very high sex drive and I always experienced disappointment in my long-term marriage to my wife, a woman who had the sex drive of a panda while my sex drive tended to be more like that of a bonobo monkey.

What is a 24/7 Total Power Exchange (TPE)

As I set about creating the context for my life a 24/7 Total Power Exchange (TPE), one of the things I made a priority was the choice to put the sexualization of my slut as the first principle, the driving force of the dynamic. Everything else would flow from there.

She would naturally need to have a high sex drive. She would need to be prepared to be fucked, suck cock or otherwise used at the drop of a hat. She would serve as my 3-hole whore. So, the question occurred to me as to how to set about living in a dynamic with a submissive slut who was sexualized so completely that she would long to be used and willingly put herself forward ongoingly. Keep in mind, in a 24/7 TPE, the dynamic never switches off. She is always “on call” sexually so to speak.

I thought about how to interact with those two ideas, one being that once I had claimed my slut, I wanted her to be completely sexualized and the other being that the dynamic never switches off. There is never a break. There is no “down time”.

Sexualizing My Slut – The training

Now, before I spend time sharing how I set about finding and training her, for context, you need to understand who I am. I have always had an easy time getting laid. Women are naturally attracted to me for some reason. I have an idea now about why that is, but as a young man, I just enjoyed the easy pussy that came my way. I had several “kink light” experiences through my married life with various women I was lucky to play with, and after my divorce, I took a deep dive into kink to explore my dominance and natural sadism. I was quite surprised just how many submissive women were eager to kneel for me. It was a revelation. I’ll share just one example. One late Saturday morning, I got a call from a woman who I had done some work with recently who happened to live out of state. She told me that she was coming to town for a meeting and asked if we could meet for a drink a little later that day. I said “sure” because I liked her and was happy to visit with her even though I was still fatigued after a marathon scene with an insatiable masochist the night before that had lasted 12 hours.

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My friend knew a little about my situation, at a minimum, she understood that I was recently divorced and looking. What she did not know was that I had taken a deep dive into exploring my kink, or my search for intimacy. We met for a drink, and during the conversation she asked what I was up to. I told her that I had been on an inquiry regarding my sexual self and in particular, my access to intimacy. She leaned closer and asked me for details. Without coming on to her at all, I told her that I had been exploring kink and my dominance in a BDSM context, she leaned closer, and then she asked me to share. I told her that I had discovered a fondness for fucking spanked red ass and leaving her hogtied after using her hard. She leaned closer still, and was almost in my chair when she breathlessly whispered, “I want that”. I looked at her for a long moment noting that she was very aroused. Her breathing was shallow, her lips were parted, she was flushed, she licked her lip and then she seductively bit her lower lip between her teeth as she held my gaze. “All I need is your consent” I said quietly. “You have it” she breathed. In the car on the way to my place she was very quiet. I put my hand on her thigh and she spread her legs. I stroked her pussy through her pants.

In the apartment she stripped and kneeled for me the way I instructed, and she announced herself a “Sacred Slut”. I shared safe words with her, and we negotiated limits. She got what she came for. She got spanked, fucked, machine fucked, used hard and hogtied and she slept very soundly. I had to wake her in the morning to get her to her workshop on time. This sort of experience was more common than not for me in my interaction with many of the submissive women I encountered. The sex was immediate, hot, and kinky, and the intimacy was still lacking.

After 4 years of a deep dive into my kink I was pretty clear about what I needed to do as far as sexualizing my slut was concerned going forward. I had yet to deal with what was missing. It occurred to me that if I had a live-in slut, intimacy would be possible and even likely develop.

Sexualizing My Slut – The Search

It was not long after that experience with my out-of-town guest that I chose to create a “seeking post” that laid out precisely who I was seeking. I came to this because although I had access to many women, none that I met were on the same page as I was emotionally even if they were aligned sexually. I was seeking intimacy in the context of hard-core kink. I posted my invitation to meet on Fetlife and shared it in local directories in nearby cities. Before long, my inbox was filled with messages from a range of submissive women curious about me, and many expressed an interest in meeting. I chatted with a few and met one or two others, and then got a message from a woman who was clearly curious, asked good questions, and although she was relatively new to kink, she was very clear about what she wanted. Clarity leads to action. She intrigued me for several reasons.

She was submissive, obedient, and eager to please. She was clearly committed to being owned, and she was seeking a 24/7 dynamic. We chatted for a few months via KIK and had one or two telephone conversations during that time. At a certain point it was clear that she ticked several boxes for me. In terms of her desire to serve, she called herself a “slave”, and she was clearly very obedient, which I like. She said she was a masochist and the question remained as to her ability to grow as a masochist given that I am a sexual sadist. In order to tease this out, I gave her a task to do for me. I instructed her to fig herself with a stick of fresh ginger and to masturbate to climax 3x, and then to meditate for 5 minutes in Nadu pose with the ginger inserted. She did it all, on video, and even had an orgasm during her meditation. That was it. I needed to meet her. We arranged to meet for a drink at a bar between our towns that were 60 miles apart.

Being chosen by the slut

During that first meeting, I leaned later, she instantly chose me to serve. She felt my dominance in those first moments of our meeting. She knew before I even sat down at the table that she would kneel for me. We talked and got acquainted and she shared the path she was on to complete her divorce. We agreed to wait until she was at least separated from her husband before I would give her the opportunity to be claimed.

I put the possibility of “being claimed” into the space and shared that she would have to put herself forward for that to occur. I would not make any effort to persuade her. I would simply share what my vision was for the future, and it would be entirely up to her to make the choice to go forward. I was committed, not attached, to the possibility that I had created of a lifestyle dynamic. I coached her on how I imagined the how the claiming ceremony would proceed, on how to present herself and about what to expect for her to “be claimed”. I told her that she would be “used hard and marked inside and out”. I defined that for her. I would mark her with a cane on her ass several times, and I would piss in her ass and then down her throat. And with that she would be claimed by me as “my 3-hole slut”. This was our agreement. It was her choice to proceed or not. She was having some difficulty with the notion of submitting to a sadist, although she listened when I told her that I believed that she had proven herself a masochist.

The build up to this was very hot. As the timing drew closer, she and I talked often, met for dinner, met for a drink, went for a walk and so on while she was working on finalizing her separation and impeding divorce. As soon as she had a hard break, a physical separation from her husband, she had the opportunity put herself forward to be claimed. She immediately requested that I do so. It took a lot of courage for her to drive the 60 miles to my place, park her car, head up to my apartment and then to open that door, get undressed, crawl into the living room, adopt the Nadu pose and offer herself to be claimed. In many ways, this was her first experience of being sexualized.

The context of training a slut

Contextually, for me, training implies coaching, and you can think of this example of coaching her as the start of her “training”.  She was guided in the specifics of how to kneel for me the way I wanted her to kneel. The precise pose. I gave her very specific guidance. It is also important to understand that I am the sort of Dom who believes that there is nothing wrong and there is nothing to fix. I set out as her Dom to coach her to service me in the way I wanted her to service me, and because her way of being is to be completely obedient, there was then, and there is now, no reason to punish her.  There are Dom/sub dynamics where the Dom punishes the sub for failing to do this or that. I was not interested in a dynamic with a brat s-type, or a relationship where she would be waiting for the other shoe to drop and have part of her attention on that. I wanted her full attention and her full obedience. To that end, my strategy as it was then, and remains so now, is to enroll her in her submission so that she submits to me the way I want her to submit to me because that is precisely what she wanted to do.

Once she was claimed as my 3-hole slut, next I set about creating the space for her be completely sexualized. We had lots of conversations about this. She takes instruction well and she set about creating herself as the sexiest woman on the planet. The way she was to relate to me from day one was and is as her sexual Master. Our relationship is sex-forward and kink-forward. We are always sex-forward and kink-forward. I came to this because my “love language” is physical, and in my previous life that level of sexual self-expression was missing. I wanted a sex filled relationship. Now in terms of how to initiate her training as a sexualized slut, the first thing for her to do was to claim the word “slut” so that the word occurred to her as a non-pejorative word. Rather, the word “slut” describes her as a woman who freely enjoys her insatiable sex drive as her self-expression. Then I created two layers of tasks for her. On one hand there are those tasks that are “chores” which keep the house running. Such things the laundry, shopping and cleaning the kitchen etc. And then there are those “Tasks” that are designed to sexualize her that are things I give her to do in the context of our sexual dynamic. Inside of that, there are protocols, things she does every day, such as wear a butt plug when she leaves the house to keep me “with her” and to take a photo and send it to me in her good morning message (she leaves the house way before I do).

And then there are the tasks I give her to get her very aroused so that she is ready to play whenever I send her off to get herself prepared for use. For example, I may have her “edge” for me every 30 minutes with her finger for a minute or use the vibrator and make her either edge or cum for me every 30 minutes leading up to play. These random tasks I give her to do excite her and they excite me. In bed at night, she cups my balls and strokes my cock while we review the day as part of our daily gratitude practice, and when she rolls over in bed, I hold her breast in my hand as we fall asleep. There are times when I am on the couch with her and say to her to “get on the fuck chair”, and she does without question, pulls her pants down and kneels on the chair to get fucked. There are times when I am aroused, say in the shower, when I tell her I have something that needs her attention, and she drops to her knees to suck my cock as my towel falls to the floor. We are sex-forward.

Here are two examples of training that I implemented. Soon after we started living together, about 3 years ago, I noticed that she was emotionally much happier and joyful on the days immediately following an impact place scene which we usually did on the weekend, so I instituted a “daily maintenance spanking” routine. Those spankings led to hotter and hotter sexual encounters each day and have had the additional unexpected benefit of allowing me to train her as masochist so that she can explore that side of her beingness.

We did this by first working day-by-day to find the best daily impact tool to use on her, and because she was a competitive long-distance runner with a lifelong experience of creating endorphins, we found that the heavy flogger with a steady regular impact, gave her the best experience especially once we got over 125 strokes. She routinely gets 3-400 strokes a day which has the impact of stimulating her brain chemistry. Now after 3 years, I am able to introduce paddles, carpet beaters and more, and she is beginning to sexualize her marking scenes as well. She already sexualizes when I piss I her ass by masturbating to climax as I do so, and when I piss down her throat, she masturbates then too, and recently she started finding the caning itself quite arousing. She is also being conditioned to “imagine how fun it will be when she has an orgasm with every cane stroke”. This is an experience she is being trained to enjoy.

Recently I enrolled her in a month of pussy chastity – we called it “Anal April”. Where we only had anal sex for a month. This opened our eyes to anal sex in a new way. I’ll share more about Anal April another time.

Introducing Hypnokink

The introduction of Hypnokink into our scenes has amplified our experience as well because now she is being dropped into a trance state, and trained to have a mouthgasm, or an orgasm as my cock goes down her throat when I give her the verbal cue. The impact of the combination of the accumulated experience, sexual conditioning, sexualization, daily maintenance spankings, regular hard-core encounters, and hypnokink, on top of the coaching and training for 3 years, is that she has transformed into a fully sexualized slut.

Yesterday was a typical day in the life. I gave her an orgasm by eating her pussy every half hour or so till I used her in the afternoon starting at 7:00 a.m.  She was cum-drunk by 10:00 am. When I told her to get ready to be used at 3:00, she skipped off to the bathroom to get ready for the scene I had in mind. She is my collared 3-hole whore, and she is always excited to be used. I have her full consent. This is an impact of our alignment and communication, our attraction and our agreements. When she chose to get claimed, this is what she signed up for. And she is smiling all the time.

We were lying in bed last night during our daily gratitude practice. She was gently stroking my cock as we talked about her experience being sexualized. She offered that “sex is not part of our life; sex IS our life” as a perfect commentary on how completely sexualized she is. Human sexuality is often a massive constraint for people who are steeped in shame that stems from their youth, religious training, prudish familial mores, societal judgement and so on. Putting all of that to one side and living a truly sex-forward, kink-forward life as partners in D/s dynamic has given us access to the most amazing and truly mind blowing sexual encounters either of us has ever had, and more importantly we enjoy a degree of intimacy and closeness as part of our experience which makes our relationship truly workable. The source of this workability is communication. In a dynamic like this one, a 24/7 Total Power Exchange as lived, we can report that communication is the lubricant for the relationship, and as everybody knows, you always want to use lots of lube.

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