Hello again, Kinky Peeps!
Simple Addiction Coping Strategies. Do you find yourself struggling with certain addictions? You might quit them for a while, but once you get a taste of it again, it consumes and controls you, making you feel depressed. In today’s article, I’m going to discuss 3 common addictions and how we can work towards quitting, cutting down, or finding balance in these areas.
1. Social media- Simple Addiction Coping Strategies
To me, social media is a great tool—an awesome way to connect with like-minded individuals. It can also be handy for business, especially if you’re trying to grow a brand. The reach on social media is far more superior than going door to door or making 1001 phone calls. Instead, one post can be shared by others, and your work can potentially be viewed by thousands in minutes, hours, days, or weeks.
However, there is a downside to social media. We can become hooked easily, and while some of our posts may connect, others may not. Perhaps that’s due to the algorithm, the time it was posted, or maybe your post didn’t resonate with people. There is a dopamine hit every time someone likes, comments, or shares your posts. This can be dangerous when, without realizing it, you are constantly checking your phone to see if anyone has liked your posts.
Even when you put your phone down, you are distracted by pop-ups, alerts, and notifications that are never-ending. Now, you are not only addicted to social media but also to your mobile phone.
Sometimes, you can’t even have a conversation with someone without your phone in your hand, constantly checking it for updates. It has become a routine when you wake up first thing in the morning, when you’re bored, and at night when you want some chill time. The only issue is your concentration levels are really poor now. You can’t get through a movie, reading a book, writing a blog, having dinner, or chatting with friends without the constant need to look at your phone.
It’s now starting to make you feel tired, lose focus, and you’re now comparing your journey with everyone else’s. When others are doing better than you or doing something that you can’t afford to do or are not in a position to do, it makes you feel super depressed, and you are addicted to doomscrolling.
As mentioned earlier, you can use social media as a tool and have it work for you. However, how do you find the balance of being able to make it work for you without allowing it to consume you? Here are some Simple Addiction Coping Strategies:
A) limit your social media usage time – Simple Addiction Coping Strategies
For example, here is something I do, and I mostly stick to it. Each day, I will Google the best times to post on certain platforms like Twitter and Instagram, mainly Twitter, to be honest. Ever since I had my account deleted on Instagram, I don’t post as frequently on my new account. Anyhow, back to what I’m saying.
Let’s say the best times to post on Twitter in the UK on Wednesday are 10 am – 11 am and 5 pm to 6 pm. In most instances, I will only log on at those times. I’ll use that time to respond to messages, ask engaging questions, and promote my books and blogs. As soon as it’s 11 am, I log off and check it again at 5 pm, repeating the process and logging off at 6 pm. I won’t check it again until the following day. That way, I’m using it as a tool. I’m not hooked on it.
It’s allowing me to do what I set out to do: engage, connect, promote, and build my brand. I don’t have enough time within that hour to doomscroll or play the comparison game.
This is how I maintain balance in pursuing my passions, steering clear of distractions like social media that could lead me into procrastination. There is a time to engage with social media and there is a time to stay focused on your goals.
B) Turn off all notifications – Simple Addiction Coping Strategies
This is essential because if you are hooked on socials and trying to pursue a passion or have a conversation with a friend, then an alert comes through, and you feel the need to respond to it. Before you know it, a whole hour has gone, and you’re still doomscrolling. To avoid getting sucked in, turn off all notifications.
Just by limiting your usage time and turning off notifications can help you find the perfect balance, allowing social media to work for you rather than allowing it to control you.
2. Porn – Simple Addiction Coping Strategies
Simple Addiction Coping Strategies. At one point, I used to jerk-off to porn on a daily basis, sometimes 5 – 6 times a day. It’s like no matter how much porn I watched, it wasn’t even enough. While some people didn’t like being alone and always needed others around them, I was happy to stay alone because it allowed me space to freely jerk-off. The only issue is I found that it was killing my focus, affecting my mood, making me feel ashamed—almost to the point where I started to think, why am I doing this? It began to make me depressed, but I couldn’t stop.
Even when I said I’m going to stop, the moment I got some time to myself with no one to bother me, the first thing I’ll do is log on to my favourite femdom site. Sometimes I used to edge to it so it lasts longer, just prolonging it for an hour to build that sexual tension and allow for a stronger orgasm. When I finally busted a nut, it felt goddamn wonderful, but then I felt completely drained, like I couldn’t be arsed to do anything. I needed a nap or something because I literally drained myself.
Eventually, we all get to a point where we recognize an addiction and realise that it’s really not benefiting us; in actual fact, it’s having the totally opposite effect.
Does this sound like you? Are you hooked on porn, to the point where it’s consuming you? Is it affecting your focus and mood? Do you want to quit or cut it down but can’t seem to do it? Well, I’m not an expert, so I can’t tell you exactly how to do this, but I can share my experiences, and I’m no longer addicted to porn. Let’s talk about it, shall we?
A) Cut it out for 30 days, plus semen retention – Simple Addiction Coping Strategies
If you’re addicted to porn and jerking off, one thing that really helped me move away from porn was abstaining from ejaculation, also known as semen retention. When you jerk off on a daily basis, you’re constantly looking for that dopamine spike. It’s like the moment you hit a high, you also hit a low, and you keep returning to it, wanting the same high feeling. The only issue is it doesn’t last for long.
By doing semen retention for 30 days, you learn self-control and self-discipline, and now you’re not controlled by the dopamine spike. After doing it for 30 days, you’ll end up feeling like you’re in control of yourself again; you’re not a slave to pleasure, and you’ll suddenly get your focus back. I started this journey back in May 2020 when I wrote my first book, Triple-Formed. I needed to stay focused while writing my first book, and my initial plan was to do it for 30 days. However, 30 days ended up becoming 70 days because that’s roughly how long it took me to write my book.
After that, I had spells of returning to porn on and off. When I wrote my second book, SEXUAL EQUANIMITY, I practised semen retention from December 2022 to June 2023. I wrote a book that was 70,000 words, and that’s what made me realise the potential we have when we get away from addictive behaviours and put our focus on something we are deeply passionate about pursuing.
I’m now at the point where I hardly ever watch porn, certainly not to jerk off to. However, I may watch porn if I’m thinking of exploring a new kink, but it doesn’t seem to consume me like it used to. So, I’ve found a nice balance with porn. However, this may not work for everyone. Some people may step away from it, but the moment they go back to it, it sucks them straight back in, so this is something to be mindful about.
B) Only orgasm in real-time play – Simple Addiction Coping Strategies
I made a pact with myself that I will not cum unless I have sex with my wife or play with Mistresses, and this also helped me beat my porn addiction. I guess I could edge to it; the only issue is eventually, I will probably jizzmuck all over the place, and then I’ll feel deeply disappointed in myself. When you fail once, you’re likely to return to it again and again.
So now, if I do watch any kind of porn, I won’t jerk off to it; I’ll just use it for the educational side. Once I’ve learned what I need to know, I won’t return to it. Plus, it feels so much better to orgasm in a session or with my wife instead of spilling my seed to pixels on a screen. I don’t feel any shame when I cum during a session or have sex with my wife; if anything, I feel really good, and that high lasts for quite some time. As for jerking off to porn, it has the opposite effect on that.
Just to highlight, I’m not saying porn is bad and that you shouldn’t indulge in it. However, if you have an addiction to it and feel it’s affecting you negatively, that’s when you have to think about cutting down or cutting it out altogether. Everything comes down to feeling. If porn makes you feel good, and you don’t have any comedowns from it, by all means, do whatever makes you feel happy.
3. Coffee dependence – Simple Addiction Coping Strategies
Coffee is one of the most powerful legalised drugs. The majority of coffee lovers enjoy its taste, making it easy to get hooked and dependent on it. Despite its benefits, such as providing an energy boost, aiding focus, and containing antioxidants, it’s important to be mindful of potential drawbacks.
For instance, it can also have negative effects on certain individuals depending on how much is consumed. For example, excessive coffee or any high-caffeine drink can make you feel super anxious, jittery, and can affect one’s sleep. There are many coffee drinkers who are now dependent on it. For instance, I know people who can’t hit the gym without having a cup of coffee beforehand.
I’ve worked for quite a few independent estate agencies, and in the mornings, it’s as if no one could get their brains started—everyone looked like a zombie until they had their morning coffee.
I often hear writers say they can’t write without coffee by their side. For some, it’s a comfort; for others, it’s a true dependence. God forbid it was ever taken away from them—what would they do?
Speaking about myself, I drank coffee for most of my life. In my earlier days, I used to have 3-4 coffees a day, then cut it down to 2, then 1, and back up to 2. Now, I have it only every Saturday or Sunday. Although I love coffee, I found myself dependent on it. I wouldn’t exercise without my morning coffee, and in the afternoon, it became a post-lunch habit. I decided to cut it out for 7 days. The first 3-4 days felt like a hangover. After that, I surprised myself by realizing it was more mental. I thought I needed coffee to write or exercise, but I didn’t.
After 30 days without coffee, I slept better, was more focused. I still like the taste, so I reintroduced it, having either one coffee on Saturdays or Sundays. This balance allows me to enjoy it without affecting my sleep, making me anxious, or becoming dependent on it. If you want to cut down on caffeine dependence, here’s what you can do:
A) Have a decaf – Simple Addiction Coping Strategies
This is by far the most obvious; if you love the taste of coffee try to find a decaf alternative. Even though decaf still has a small percentage of caffeine, bear that in mind, especially if you drink coffee in the evenings.
B) Do activities and tasks without having any caffeine – Simple Addiction Coping Strategies
Simple Addiction Coping Strategies. So, if you are dependent on caffeine drinks to either get your brain going when you enter a workplace, or before hitting the gym, or writing a book or blog, attempt those activities without having any caffeine in your body. Sure, at first, it’ll be super hard, and you’ll be thinking, “What’s the point of this?”
However, in time, you’ll realize your brain will somehow find a way to get you through that hard workout, you’ll still find the words to write and convey the message you want to for your new book or blog.
Eventually, you will become focused, dependent on your actions rather than needing something for the action to happen.
C) Have it only on the weekends or on certain days during the week; just don’t consume it daily – Simple Addiction Coping Strategies
As mentioned earlier, this is something I started doing. Although I only have one coffee on a Saturday or Sunday, I don’t binge on it for that one day, making up for lost time and end up backing 7 coffees in one hit lol. I think having one is a nice little treat, and having it once a week doesn’t allow one to get hooked on it or dependent on it. I don’t have it before I write or anything like that; I just enjoy it in my own time.
Alternatively, you can have it on certain days or every other day, for instance, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. This way, your body is not consuming it every day and is getting a break from caffeine.
Just to clarify – Simple Addiction Coping Strategies:
Coffee is not not bad for you. However, consuming an excessive amount of coffee and developing an addiction to it can be detrimental to your health. I’m not writing this to advise you to cut back or quit coffee. This article is only for those who are either hooked on it, are dependent on it and want to find a way to not become dependent on it, and for those that have so much of it that it is now affecting their mood, anxiety, and sleep. If you don’t fall under this category, then, enjoy your coffee as you wish.
There we have it, Kinky Folks – Simple Addiction Coping Strategies
I hope enjoyed reading this article: Empower Your Journey: Top 3 Simple Addiction Coping Strategies for Positive Transformation. I hope you found it helpful, What are your Simple Addiction Coping Strategies? Please share this article: Empower Your Journey: Top 3 Simple Addiction Coping Strategies for Positive Transformation with others.
I also discuss Simple Addiction Coping Strategies and addictive personalities in my new book, Sexual Equanimity. Sexual Equanimity is written in the style of a journal, covering topics of managing emotions, understanding desires, and finding balance in sexuality. If this sounds like an interesting concept, it’s now available on Amazon and Goodreads in Kindle, ebook, and paperback formats.
Much Kink Love,