Guest Blog: “Meet Three Professional Dommes!“ by B.J. Frazier
Pod and I are in a femdom writers group on Twitter, and he asked me to write a guest blog post. We both talk to submissive men from different and similar perspectives, so it was easy to choose a topic: Professional Dommes!
I am an erotica author of nearly 50 books, specializing in femdom. While I’m not a professional domme, I write from personal, femdom experiences.
In October of 2022, I was a vendor at DomCon NOLA. It is a kink convention for professional and lifestyle kinksters, with an emphasis on femdom. And it was incredible!
Missed it? Bummer. I not only taunt but offer you an opportunity–DomCon L.A. is happening in May. More on that later. Yes, I tease, too. *grin*
A lot of my readers weren’t able to attend DomCon, so I reviewed the convention in blog posts to give them a sense of the experience. I attended classes, talked with other vendors and participants, and I interviewed several people, including three professional dommes.
Mistress Cyan
I had the pleasure of interviewing Mistress Cyan, the creator of DomCon. She shared her bullied past as a skinny boy and her entrance into the kink scene, which took place before the digital days of the internet. It wasn’t as easy to find like-minded individuals back then. She shared her struggles, her coming out, and, finally, the acceptance she received from the kink community.
Always an advocate for the underdog, Mistress Cyan is active politically and says ignorance is no excuse for not becoming involved and making a difference.
Over twenty years ago, she saw a rift between professional sex workers and lifestylers, and sought to bridge the gap through DomCon, which she was told would never work. Not only did it work, but May marks the 20th anniversary of DomCon to L.A.
While at DomCon NOLA, I was mesmerized by Mistress Cyan’s double-flogging skill during a play party, and I also attended her class, “The Dynamics of a BDSM Scene”.
Read more about Mistress Cyan and DomCon NOLA in the links below.
Goddess Phoenix
I first saw Goddess Phoenix during the opening ceremony, as she received an award. If you’ve been in the same room with a dominatrix, you know there is a transcending aura of power that permeates everything. To stand out in a room with many such forces requires a special essence.
Goddess Phoenix has that essence. From the moment she stepped onto the stage, her light was the brightest, and she commanded focus without ever asking for it.
I met her when she visited the vendor area. Her light remained a beacon and she had an intensity of strength… *and* she was a warm and down-to-earth being. We chatted, discovered similarities, and I asked her for an interview on the spot, which she accepted.
Her past includes a harrowing encounter which shaped her future, but she refuses to be dragged down by it. On the contrary, because of her trauma, she focuses her sessions on healing. Don’t read that as devoid of BDSM, because Goddess Phoenix is skilled in bondage, and is an expert with whips and light saber floggers.
Her subs have mental challenges from past events, like PTSD, phobias or other crises. Goddess Phoenix helps them to overcome their demons.
Read more about Goddess Phoenix and DomCon NOLA in the links below. Goddess Phoenix will be Mistress of Ceremonies in May!
Mistress Mia Darque
I chatted with Mistress Mia Darque on Twitter prior to the convention but our schedules didn’t mesh. However, she graciously accepted a video interview a few weeks later.
Mistress Mia was also bullied in grade school but not for being a skinny boy (like Mistress Cyan). She was bullied for being large and a bit of an “odd duck”. She quickly figured out how to deal with bullies. And she also used jump ropes on the playground to tie up those who asked for it.
Despite that, it wasn’t until many years later that she found her kink. Obtaining a finance degree in college, Mistress Mia was fairly vanilla until she waitressed at a bar and witnessed what she thought was a rape. From that point, her path toward kink accelerated.
Mistress Mia started out as a slave to a male owner before she became a dominatrix… and says it’s made her a better domme.
She revealed many points along her journey–some I’ve chosen to keep secret–and it’s a fascinating tale. Now in her forties, she preaches financial responsibility to other sex workers and teaches classes.
After decades as a professional dominatrix, she is proud of her approach. She still talks to people at conventions about what she does, what they like, and hopefully makes them more comfortable about booking a session.
Read more about Mistress Mia and DomCon NOLA in the links below.
The Interviews
The link above takes you to my blog post archives, where you can read in order (from the bottom up, of course *grin*) my review on DomCon NOLA, including the interviews of Mistress Cyan, Goddess Phoenix and Mistress Mia Darque.
A Tease Revisited
I know Pod has discussed that dommes have different personalities and different fetishes/activities they prefer over others. And it’s important to reiterate that subs have a choice in who becomes their domme. When searching for a professional, try to match your kink. Professional dommes will list their preferred sessions on their website, so spend time reading before you ask for a session. It will be a better experience for both of you.
To get back to the earlier tease… DomCon L.A. celebrates its 20th anniversary in May. A kink convention is a great place to immerse yourself with fellow kinksters, educate yourself about different types of kink, play, buy kinky products (and femdom erotica by B.J. Frazier!), and meet professional dommes.
You might also get a chance to see them in action during the play parties, which will help you decide which one you’d like to visit. Most are approachable, real, and experienced. My interviews focus on their true selves but also highlight their kinky interactions.
I encourage you to go to the convention without fear. If it’s your first time and you’re nervous, stop by my booth. You’ll know at least one person who will be happy to see you.
When my booth number has been assigned, I’m sure Pod will let you know. Or say hi beforehand:
https://bj_frazier.bdsmlr.com/ (NSFW site)
https://www.tumblr.com/blog/b-j–frazier (NSFW site)
There we have it, Kinky Folks!
A huge Shout-Out to B.J. for writing this really cool guest article for Podopheleus readers.
Kinksters let’s support each other – so please SHARE this informative article with other like-minded individuals! Also, feel free to hit me up on Twitter @podofeleus and Instagram @Podopheleus.
Much Kink Love,
Podopheleus 🖤
All links @ Podopheleus | Triple-Formed – Advocate for Change
