Unlocking Pleasure: 14 Essential Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs

Hello again, Kinky People! 

Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs. When I first entered the BDSM scene as a baby sub, boy, was I a different person back then compared to who I am now. I entered the BDSM scene with puppy dog eyes and a sense of naivety, trying to understand a world that I had only viewed through the lens of femdom porn. 

Exploring femdom porn can assist you in discovering your genuine turn-ons and potentially aid in distinguishing between your fetishes and kinks. Nevertheless, it’s important to recognize that porn predominantly emphasizes the sexual aspect without delving into the human side of relationships, such as connection and communication. Instead, it tends to evoke intense arousal, potentially diverting your focus. In today’s article, I will present 14 essential Prodomme tips for baby subs / individuals new to BDSM. These insights are based on my own experiences and are intended to provide guidance before engaging with a professional dominatrix.

Alrighty then. Let’s get started, shall we? – Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs.

Unlocking Pleasure: 14 Essential Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs

1. Read your Mistress’s website, profile, and social mediaProdomme Tips for Baby Subs

Before reaching out to a Mistress, I would suggest going through her website with a fine-tooth comb. If she doesn’t have a website yet or is in the process of creating one, then I suggest studying her social media. What’s the point of doing this? In most cases, a domme will highlight all you need to know on her website. For example, her booking process, her hard limits, what she enjoys the most, her interests, favourite gifts, etc.

The last thing you want to do is reach out to a Domme requesting an activity that she stated is a hard limit. Or rock up to a session with a bottle of wine as a gift, even though she states she doesn’t drink alcohol. A Domme’s website usually gives you an indication of their personality, and the type of Domme they are. If you are going through their social media, you may find some of these details in their bios or pinned tweets; some do Qs & As on Instagram, so you can get to know them a little better.

2. It’s okay to say no if it’s out of your budget – Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs

This is something that I believe all Dommes should include on their website. Displaying rates from the start prevents subs from emailing or going through the application process only to later find that the rates are beyond their budget. If a Domme doesn’t specify rates on her website and you discover they’re out of your budget, it’s okay to express that, you may very well have to let it be for now, and you can potentially make contact with her again when you are in a stronger financial situation.

3. Be respectful in emails and use correct grammarProdomme Tips for Baby Subs

Always be respectful in your communication with a Mistress. Respect and kindness can go a long way. Even if there is a misunderstanding that has unsettled you, take a moment for yourself, and then explain your point as clearly as possible in a respectful tone.

You’ll probably notice that many Mistresses mention they won’t tolerate poor grammar and spelling mistakes. Perhaps your English isn’t that strong, and now you’re worried you’ll never find a prodomme.

Fortunately, in this advanced age of technology, you can download various apps that perform spell and grammar checks for you. While some apps can even write emails for you, I wouldn’t advise it; firstly, it takes away from your personality, and second, relying on such tools might become a habit. Instead, write in your own words and use the apps to check your grammar and spelling.

4. Don’t expect to receive a response ASAP – Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs

Hallelujah! You’ve just submitted your first prodomme application and are now awaiting a response. It’s been a whole 24 hours, and still no response. Now what? Well, you wait. 

Let me explain something to you. Dommes lead very busy lifestyles. Their schedules can include sessions, travelling, admin work, managing accounts, marketing, organising events and parties, attending events and parties, networking, cleaning, and much more. Dommes are a one-man band, and juggling so many things can be overwhelming. So, please be patient when awaiting a response.

However, there are some instances where Dommes forget to reply or there are technical issues. For example, the email might not have gone through, or it could be sitting in your spam folder. I usually go with the 7-day rule; if I don’t hear back from a mistress within 7 days, I usually send a polite email explaining that I sent a session request a week ago and wanted to confirm they received my application. 

It has happened a few times to me. In one instance, a mistress mentioned she emailed me, and it wasn’t in my spam folder, so she resent it. Technical issues happen, it’s no biggie. In another instance, the mistress thought she responded to me but forgot to press the send button. These things happen, but when they do, remember to be understanding and respectful; these technical/human errors don’t take away from the professionalism of a Mistress.

5. Be super specificProdomme Tips for Baby Subs

When reaching out to a prodomme to discuss your fetishes and kinks, one thing I’d like to highlight is that it’s super important to be as specific as possible about what you want your session to look like and what experiences you desire. The more information a dominant has, the easier it is for them to craft a session specifically for your fantasies. 

If you don’t paint the full picture, it will be challenging for them to create the session of your dreams. Many submissives have a vision of their ideal session but struggle to express it to a Mistress. If this is you, try getting creative to put into words exactly what you want to experience. 

You can create a roleplay scenario or write a short kinky story to spark your imagination and get your creative juices flowing. This can help you become more specific in writing about your fantasies. You can even journal or script about what you want to experience or experienced. The more you do it, the better you’ll get at expressing yourself. Eventually, you’ll reach a point where you enjoy writing about it and won’t have any issues fully conveying your desires to any domme. 

6. You don’t have to buy a gift – Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs

If finances are tight, you don’t have to buy a gift for your Mistress, especially considering you’ll be forking out a hefty sum for the session. However, gifts are always a nice touch, and you don’t have to buy anything too expensive if you can’t afford it.

If you are looking to buy a gift and have a certain budget in mind but are not sure what to buy, I suggest going through your Mistress’s wishlist and purchasing something from there within your budget.

If you can’t afford a gift, just remember: showing gratitude to your Mistress for her time, the effort she has invested in arranging the ideal session for you, and cleaning up after you costs nothing

7. Don’t paint every Domme with the same brush

One thing to remember is not to paint every Domme with the same brush. In the prodomme world, you will find many diverse personalities. Never assume a Domme will be a certain way based on previous experiences. 

Some Dommes engage in banter, while others are more stern. Some give off a friend vibe, while others draw a line. Preferences for play can vary—some are into sensual teasing, while others prefer harder activities like impact play. Some are open to emotional conversations, while others prefer to keep personal matters private. 

Look at each Domme as an individual, avoiding comparisons to others in the prodomme community.

8. Take responsibility for your actions – Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs

We all mess up from time to time; it’s a part of the human experience, right? If you do mess up, don’t try to hide it or make excuses. Instead, own up to it and learn from it.

9. Dommes are human beings, not kink dispensers

This is essential. Dommes are human beings just like you, and please do not treat them as mere fetish dispensers. Even though they offer a service catering to your fetishes, it does not mean you should disregard the fact that you are dealing with a human being. Many individuals get so caught up in their fantasies and the male gaze that they don’t take notice of anything else apart from what satisfies them.

10. Respect your Mistress’s privacy – Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs

Your Mistress has a life outside of sessions. First, identify her boundaries. She may or may not mind you randomly messaging her after sessions. It comes down to what you discuss between yourselves or what your relationship is like.

For instance, I had a nice relationship with a Mistress where she stated I could message her whenever, and she would get back to me when she could. I was in that inner circle of hers where I could message if I wished. However, once I was messaging her about something, and during the conversation, she said, “I am on holiday, you know?” So, although she gave me permission to message her whenever, that was her way of saying, “Look, this is my holiday, you may not be aware, but I want my space now.”

Even though she didn’t explicitly say it, sometimes you need to use your initiative and realise when you may be stepping over those boundaries.

11. Transparency – Be honest with yourself and with your Mistress, speak your piece, don’t beat around the bush

If something is on your mind – let’s say your Mistress did something to upset you, perhaps the way she said something felt rude or disrespectful, or a session activity triggered a certain feeling, or she used a word that brought up a traumatic experience from your childhood. Whatever the situation, firstly, be open with yourself and be clear about what unsettled you. Secondly, open up to your Mistress and tell her so she knows for next time; she’s not a mind reader, and the more open you are with each other, the better your relationship will be.

If, for any reason, you cannot be open with your Mistress, you need to question if she is right for you.

12. Create boundaries for yourself – Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs

This is so underrated and not spoken about enough. Dommes are not the only ones who should create boundaries; subs need to create boundaries for themselves as well. I cannot stress how important this is. This will save you a lot of money, time, and energy if you know your boundaries. 

When you create boundaries, you know where you stand with yourself. If anyone crosses them, you can move away from that relationship without feeling guilty. This will help you protect your energy in the long run. This is something I wish I had done when I first entered the scene.

For instance, two of my boundaries are if a Domme speaks negatively about another Domme for no reason—this kind of behaviour does not sit well with me. I won’t have it, and it puts me in a position to not return to that Mistress. Even though there is a difference between confiding in someone and gossiping, I explained it in a previous blog, which you can check out here.

Secondly, I will not tolerate non-consensual disrespectful behaviour from a prodomme. Some Dommes abuse their power and think it’s okay to disrespect a submissive person in a non-consensual way. I don’t agree with this type of behaviour; we are all human beings at the end of the day, and we should all respect one another regardless of gender, role, popularity or status. 

Some Dommes may show disrespect to a submissive person when they have a shitty day; yet, again, we all go through shit, and just because you’re a Domme doesn’t mean you can talk to others poorly. If I find myself in a situation like this, I won’t stoop down to their level; it’s not worth my energy. I will just walk away and not return. 

I talk about how to protect your energy in a previous blog I wrote here.

13. Love yourself and have self-confidenceProdomme Tips for Baby Subs

One of the biggest misconceptions about subs is that we are pathetic and losers. Maybe you enjoy being called that in a session, but outside of your sessions, loving yourself can help you maintain stronger relationships. The reason is that when you love yourself, firstly, you feel happier at your core, and secondly, you give your best self to others. When others get the best version of you, it will only lead to the best possible dynamic. Have the self-confidence within yourself to love who you are.

14. Consent is everything – Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs

Lastly, everything has to be consensual from both ends. A Domme should not be crossing your hard limits or boundaries without your consent, and vice versa. To maintain a long-term relationship, please respect each other’s consent.

There we have it, Kinky Folks! – Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs 

I hope you enjoyed this kinkducation article – Unlocking Pleasure: 14 Essential Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs.

Please share Prodomme Tips for Baby Subs with other like-minded individuals. Additionally, if you found this helpful, check out my latest book, SEXUAL EQUANIMITY, where I cover much of what I wrote in this article. However, I go into much more detail and explain many of my own, as well as others’, real-life experiences in the BDSM world.

Also, feel free to hit me up on Twitter @podofeleus and Instagram.

Much Kink Love,

Podopheleus 

All links @ Podopheleus | Books – Sexual Equanimity, Triple-Formed and more…

Grab the Amazon and Goodreads Kindle Editions of SEXUAL EQUANIMITY.

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